Scottish History: William Wallace's Sword

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Are you ready to embark on a thrilling journey through history, culture, and culinary adventures? Get set to uncover the mysteries surrounding the legendary William Wallace and his iconic sword. We’ll explore the truth and myths tied to this emblem of Scottish independence, trace its intriguing journey from a museum theft to the National Wallace Monument, and shed light on the debates over its authenticity. Our discussion doesn't shy away from controversies and the various acts of protest and preservation the sword has witnessed over time.

Ever wondered if William Wallace could've been the mastermind behind the culinary delight, fried chicken? Our lighthearted debate doesn't stop there, as we also delve into the Scottish love for frying various foods and take you through the simplicity and deliciousness of Scottish shortbread. We'll shake up stereotypes about Scottish folks and marvel at their remarkable inventions, from the television to the telephone and the steam engine. Plus, our special guest shares their own experiences and stories, offering a firsthand look into the vibrant culture and traditions of Scotland. So tune in, laugh, learn, and let us whisk you away to the rich, fascinating world of Scotland!

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William Wallace and His Sword Discussion

Speaker 1 0:49

Ah boy , I'm surprised you haven't heard of me . I got a reputation , a bad reputation , like sometimes I just go nuts , like now I'm only smoking to take my mind off my dog biscuit problem . All right , any of these this ring in the bell . What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd ? Let's get the flock out of here .

Speaker 2 1:12

Oh my god , I don't know , that's like a grandpa .

Speaker 1 1:14

Just , it's rigged dude , it's Mel Gibson rigs . Come on , I Did , I did . I mess up here . I got something confused . I feel oh , it's swords , shit , william Wallace . William Wallace is my bad dog .

Speaker 2 1:39

I don't know how I got that time display at the National Wallace Monument in Sterling , scotland . Yeah , and it's a large two-headed sword used in battle by William Wallace himself . Of course there's some debate on this most scholars , but certain majors just under five pounds and Five and a half pounds and it's just under five and a half feet long . Oh , wow , which . Yeah , that's a sizable blade . Especially my Scottish people aren't generally like the largest in stature , built , pretty sturdy but not very tall .

Speaker 1 2:12

Yeah , that's why I feel like dwarves in like games always have a Nobody games . They always have like a Scottish accent , don't they ? Yeah , why is that ? Is that like some sort of cultural appropriation ?

Speaker 2 2:30

I think I should get really upset about it and like yeah tell everyone and then sit in the corner and eat cat food and stare at the wall .

Speaker 2 2:36

Oh , maybe I won't sound really care . Yeah , wallace , of course , is the beater that resistance to English oppressors in wars for Scottish independence . The service is at the battle , sterling Bridge in 1297 , a very famous , famous battle , you know . Give some news and , yeah and yes , the following are used at the battle of fall Kirk . Okay , referred to by some as freedom sword . Wallace and the sword have been used internationally as symbols of their fight for social justice and Like a rallying , like an item , like a relic , like go Scott , yeah yeah exactly .

Speaker 1 3:22

We are not part of the UK , right or wait ? Is that Ireland ?

Speaker 2 3:30

Um , yeah , I was not , but Scotland is part of the UK . They just want independence , like as their own Right country from from England . And yeah , yeah , there's many countries had that English guess they were too fond of .

Speaker 1 3:49

Oh , my , that's . I hope that strikes a chord with somebody . That's pretty cool man . Yeah , William Wallace what a , what a figure . You know part myth and legend and then you know there's some facts . Oh , you're the real dude , for sure . Yeah , yeah , they said part myth , you know , like there's so much that's around this guy it's , it's pretty amazing .

Speaker 2 4:15

Yeah , and with the sword . Again , it's debated by some historians . The legend has it that it's it remained at dumb dumberton castle , where Wallace's Was captured and eventually killed in 1305 , and it stayed at the Fifth castle , but then no mention of it until 1505 , when King James IV requested repairs on its handle . And Then fast forward to 1888 . Wallace's sword was moved to the National Wallace Monument and while it sounded logical , it enraged the town's number two . Why one of the sort to remain ? They wanted to sort , stand their town Right .

Speaker 1 4:56

I get it .

Speaker 2 4:56

Yeah , trying to get , and then some interesting stuff that went on . In 1912 Ethel Moorhead smashed the case holding when he wants to sort as an act of to raise awareness from suffrage and Voice , social and political issues .

Speaker 1 5:13

That's a statement , Ethel right .

Speaker 2 5:15

Yeah , but yeah , um , then on November 8th in 1936 , scottish Nationalists attending Glasgow University stole the sword from the monument and it was eventually returned . And then again in 72 , 1972 , um , somebody noticed I forget where I had his name , but uh , he was just he thought it was disrespectful , it was the case was all dusty and it was just like not really cared for or whatever . And so he was just like F , this like I'm getting like he thought , as a source of national and you know heritage and everything , and yeah , right , and so he got it out of there and eventually just said , you know , call them up , I think it was , and just arranged so that he wouldn't get in trouble .

Speaker 1 6:03

But wait , hold on . He got it out of there , so this guy stole the sword .

Speaker 2 6:09

He's like lowered it out the window to his body .

Speaker 1 6:14

Look at the bed . She Just down the wind , and then and then . So not only did he do that , okay , let's elaborate on this , because you breeze right the fuck past the fact that this guy stole William Wallace's sword out of a museum in Scotland Like it was nothing , he was just like you know Scottish people , you never know Drinking that was going on . Yeah , like what's is there I would bet .

Speaker 1 6:36

So , you know , maybe they , maybe they seen them and they called like some sort of law enforcement , but their ponies aren't that fast . If they were near Shetland , I don't know , but like the OK . So really , though , think about this . Like , think if you're in the United States and you're to go into one of our museums , like the Smithsonian or something , and I don't know , I'm trying to think of some sort of or just to go into , go , think of trying to take , like the frickin Declaration of Independence , you know , just go up in there and just take it out , lower it out of .

Speaker 1 7:10

Lower it out a window to your buddy . And then you go home and smoke some weed , have some beers and watch your footy or whatever games you're watching . And then you get bored and you're like what the fuck ? You expect to see it on the news ? You know something ? Three days past , you call the museum . You're like , by the way , I took fucking the Declaration of Independence . Have you guys noticed it yet ? That's basically what happened here . This guy stole the sword , sat on it , waited , called All right , where are we at ? That was my breakdown .

Speaker 2 7:45

Yeah , no , it was pretty interesting . One would guess that there's a little tighter security these days . On it you had a hoe and then , unfortunate , into the 1996 , a sculptor Tom Church type of statue called Freedom , supposedly of William Wallace . But the townspeople and everyone that felt it had no Gibson's face on it . Wow , my Scottish people were not pleased with this . No , they don't . Yeah , and the Scots often vandalized the misguided tribute to yeah the Sterling , eventually the Sterling Council . Oh well , they'd leased it for Mr Church , thinking that he was going to go over really well , and it just didn't . It kept getting fucked with . Basically it was kept in a cage to prevent further damage . I can just picture it like drunk and scot .

Speaker 2 8:45

Like what are you doing , but why that's now Gibson ?

Speaker 1 8:49

Oh , I mean , like I don't even understand . I get it , he was in the movie . Ok , like you know what I'm saying , I understand all that , but why ? Why , otherwise , you know , was that movie huge in Scotland ? Do we know this ? I don't .

Speaker 2 9:05

I'm not sure . I mean it was a good movie , but like , come on .

Speaker 1 9:10

Oh , dude , check this one out . Oh my God , I don't know , I don't know . So Gibson was born in Peekskill , new York , of Irish descent , so he's not even right , yes , irish , it's like not , it's not the same thing , guys , artist . Whoever that guy was , what was his fucking name ?

Speaker 2 9:34

Tom Church . And yeah , eventually , in 2008 , it was a statue which was referred to as among the most loathed pieces of public art in Scotland was removed and returned to its sculptor , tom Church . He failed to sell it to anyone else at an auction and apparently offered it to Donald Trump for his golf resort .

Speaker 1 9:56

And they declined it or they take it .

Speaker 2 9:59

I don't , yeah , I don't know . It would be funny if they put the Donald's hair on the statue , though . Then it would have just been like yeah . Some kind of horror movie .

Speaker 1 10:09

I am confused , ok , because I'm looking at this now and I don't know how much this actually looks like Mel Gibson . He definitely has some frown lines and he's like screaming , like his mouth's like wide open and it doesn't look appealing . He looks oddly short because it's the full figure Mel Gibson . Guys , how tall is Mel Gibson ? Do you know that he's got to be like taller ? I have no idea . Yeah , how tall is Mel Gibson ? Probably like five , something I'm assuming . I have no clue .

Speaker 2 10:40

What am I ? His biographer ?

Speaker 1 10:43

I don't know . I mean I don't know . I mean apparently like . I mean , you researched the Scottish statue . It's just so oddly shaped , I swear to God . When I seen it , I don't know . It looked like the legs were , like , you know , like like two feet tall , maybe , or like a foot tall , and the rest of the body was like a normal man's size . You know what I'm saying . So it was a very strange object .

Speaker 2 11:05

The face was something too Like they compared it to some British lady that was on American idols . They showed the picture next to it . Something foil , I think . Oh , no , no , no , yeah that's pretty fucking rugged . That's mean , that's mean guys , but that's pretty funny Well just because of the expression , you know , the mouth like open , like yelling , you're singing or something , that's a bad thing . Yeah , I mean it wasn't . Yeah , I just said like they're like the way .

Speaker 1 11:31

yeah , well , this thing's rugged looking dude , this thing is so rugged looking and I was kind of sad okay , because , like when I was looking into it and all and this Wallace thing , it was like this Wallace thing , the sword and all this , when you look up the tower that it's in , this picture of this fucking statue comes up okay , as like on the Wikipedia and all that shit . It is terrible and the Scots hate it . Guys . This is not a thing Somebody needs to change the direction .

Speaker 2 11:57

Yeah , it's kind of like one of the most lonesome pieces of art . Oh my God .

Speaker 1 12:02

All of Scotland . Hey , you know , let's get it , let's get off of that , because now we're just talking shit about some guy who probably thought he was doing something Amazing . I mean , he'll be remembered for a little while at least . I don't know . Like that's a . He did something with his life . So there is an artifact , mind you , that has been proven to be a legitimate thing . The only question about it is is if Wallace actually carried it and it's called .

Speaker 1 12:32

It's known as the Wallace letter . I mean , it's pretty straightforward it's a 700 year old message from the King of France , one of only two surviving documents with a personal connection to Scottish historical icon William Wallace . Discovered in the Tower of London in the mid 1800s and now part of the collection of the National Archives , this small and seemingly innocuous letter contains details that can tell us much about the people and politics of this turbulent era turbulence a pretty like light word , I feel and about one of the most , one of the most famous figures in Scotland's history . So you know , it's a because people don't know like the king of France actually supported William Wallace and the whole thing was is that he ? He was up in Normandy , I felt trying to find like the legitimate heir to the Scottish throne . He was trying to , like you know , set things right . I suppose he didn't want the British ruler , whatnot ? And so in this letter from King Philip to Wallace it's it says this is the translation of it it says Philip , by the grace of God , king of the French , to our loved and faithful our agents , appointed to the Roman court , readings in love , we command you to request the supreme pontiff to consider with favor our beloved William LeBalas , wallace of Scotland , night , in those things which he has to transact with him , given at perforance on Monday , or a pierre fawns , I feel , on Monday , after the feast of all Saints , so that dates a kind of 7th November 1300 , medieval scribes .

Speaker 1 14:01

It sounds kind of funny and I'll tell you why . I got I got an answer for why . That was like hard to understand for us . Medieval scribes wrote in a common form or shorthand , to use less parchment and like modern text messaging , like you know , to save time , like it's like an LOL type of deal situation or you know what , not WTF , all these things .

Speaker 1 14:20

So the detective work on this pins this round all Saints Day and directly refers to William Wallace , and it is believed that he received this in another possible message , around 1300 , while he was in between 1295 and 1300 , while he's up in France , I feel and so this is one of the only relics that they can actually prove is a hundred percent legitimate . For one , the King of France did this . This is for real from him , but to they're pretty sure that William Wallace had received it and it was carrying it with him as kind of like a thing , I guess I whatever right , and they just randomly founded an archives in the Tower of London , pretty wow , yeah , so there's a thing , but yeah , it's . It's just showing that France was supporting the Scots , my friend . And how do you feel about that ? How do you feel about , how do you feel about this whole thing with these British folks and , you know , fucking with the Scots ?

Speaker 2 15:18

I mean , it's just like where it started . I guess before they were out colonizing other bits of land , they started on their own island with just different , different people . You know , yeah , well , I have both Scottish and English blood . I definitely identify with the resistance . You know , scottish fighting oppression yeah , that's

Scottish Inventions and Culinary Delights

Speaker 2 15:43

pretty cool .

Speaker 1 15:43

And fry they may . I wonder when fried chicken was invented . Did William Wallace invent fried chicken ?

Speaker 2 15:48

I didn't google that I'd want to say this . It was in like the 1600s and the Scots will fry anything . Apparently I saw it show where they're putting like a piece of pizza in the deep-fried and Edinburgh and like Mars bars and twig . Yeah , I mean just like they will fry anything , I will say shortbread , that's one thing .

Speaker 1 16:10

They got right yeah very simple .

Speaker 2 16:12

The culinary yeah , it's delicious .

Speaker 1 16:15

I can actually have some salted caramel short bread earlier oh wow , nice , I can actually make shortbread because it's that simple really . Yeah , it's it well , the basic . I don't know if it's good . I made pineapple shortbread one time and Nicole told me it was good . So I'm assuming unless you just being nice , and it's always kind of dry , right , so it's like for me it was kind of a hard .

Speaker 2 16:38

That's the trick is , if you get it correct . It's actually not . Yeah , but I think it's quite difficult . Yeah , I will like butter and all that .

Speaker 1 16:47

Right , this is not dry but I just say it oh , wow , okay . I've only ever had it sort of dry , so I guess I don't know . I mean even the shit I bought from places . So I have no idea . And I wonder if it's called shortbread because are you Scottish people in the tourists ? It kind of short , aren't they ? Though is that a thing I don't know ? I keep associating Scottish people .

Speaker 1 17:08

I mean yeah , build like with dwarves , like in in games . You know , I'm saying like they're like really rugged and tough and fucking build really neat shit . You know , like I don't know what did it ? What if the ? Do you only cool like things ? Scottish people build off top . I mean , what did you say tassels ?

Speaker 2 17:33

oh yeah , that is a thing I mean the Scots are not the only ones , but still there's some cool tassels over there .

Speaker 1 17:41

I've seen in pictures right and you're gonna be heading over there , so that's pretty cool . Sooner than later yeah yeah , so barely a couple motherland . Right , they invented bagpipes . I bet you didn't know that . That's funny , just joke guys anyway , no it .

Speaker 1 18:01

Scotland's inventions are kind of crazy . Actually , when I just looked at them now , those just kind of talking shit about it , but it's a pretty insane that we should dude . We should do an episode on this one about that , because here's a real quick list . But they invented television , mammal cloning , the telephone , penicillin , mri scanners , refrigerators and daily disposable contact lenses , just name a few . So , yeah , okay , color photography , holy fucks , go Scotland . How come not ? How come people don't think Scottish people are smart , because these are all pretty great things . They had steam engine . They invented the steam engine , the vacuum flask that seems appropriate . I don't know if that's all about alcohol , though , or not , so anyway nonetheless . Hey , check us out at pitlocksapplycom . We got itel story shirts . You can subscribe and help us stay independent . You know what I'm saying ? All that fun stuff like we don't really go with yeah , yes , help us keep independent , fight the power .

Speaker 1 19:06

You know we can do a lot of cool things too , so make sure to subscribe or buy a shirt or something , or you know . At the bare minimum , just make sure to follow the podcast at the . You know , if you can do that , that'd be fucking great . Actually , the more followers the better . And then it'll also let you see episodes when they come out .

Speaker 1 19:22

And if you like the title , you're like , oh , whoa , I want to hear Owen talk about this shit . You know , right , like I do . That's why I call him and put him on a show . We do these things , okay , so I want to hear his opinion on stuff , because it's fucking good , okay , all right anyway , but nonetheless , it'll help you , like , find these episodes . It suggests them to other people in your area or like that , like the

Fun Stuff and Scottish Stories

Speaker 1 19:40

same type of things . You do all that fun stuff . Yeah , we got shirts up , more stuff coming . You got anything . What do you ? What do you think you know ? Um , yeah , just draw blanks . I tell stories , draw blanks , very . On this very Scottish episode . I'm really glad you brought this one up . You totally had the whole beginning of this and I fucking , I like really actually got more into it as you were talking about it , to be honest with you . So that was pretty badass and I thought the story is hilarious and just all about it , but I guess , well , I hope everybody has a great day much love everybody .