Holliday: Xmas Part Deux

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Ever wondered if Santa runs a tight ship up at the North Pole, or if it's all just a bit of holiday hocus-pocus? Buckle up, as we take you on a wild sleigh ride through Christmas lore and real-life Yuletide happenings that are sure to drop your jaw faster than a lump of coal in a naughty kid's stocking. We're spilling the mince pies on everything from a satirical poke at Santa's 'sweatshop,' to the heartwarming Christmas Truce of WWI, and even the darkly historical events that have shared this date.

Switch gears with us as we sail the high seas with pirates who might have hung their stockings with care, and laugh along as we unravel the Festivus feats of strength. Then, join our chorus of Christmas tunes—yes, we'll reveal our holiday playlist with a nod to Rass Kass’ not-so-traditional carols. Dive into Iceland’s Yule Lads folklore, where the mischievousness makes coal seem like a welcome treat, and let's not forget our northern neighbors—apologies in advance, Canada, for our Boxing Day banter.

As the snow settles, we're not just talking tinsel and gift wrap; we're questioning the very essence of New Year resolutions. Do we really need January 1st to reinvent ourselves? Sip some Mysterbrow (don't ask, just listen) as we discuss why any day can mark the beginning of a better you. So stoke the fire, pour a hot cocoa, and let's reflect on the shared human experiences that the holiday season brings, from the famous to the fictional, the solemn to the celebratory.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:49

Ah boy, hey. Ah man, I'm glad you're back. Where's the milk? And?

Speaker 2: 0:53

cookies.

Speaker 1: 0:55

The fat man's getting on my nerves, bro. Where's Mrs D? He keeps complaining about the weather, it's not cold enough Over in North America and all these things. There's just no spirit. You know, it's like everybody forgot or something. You know, because all these things just complaining, I don't know, I hate it. I'm like dude, you weren't even like. You know, I haven't even. I don't even know where to begin with him. Do you have any ideas? How should we deal with this guy? Should we speak? Give him some like real wisdom? Do you have anything to tell him?

Speaker 3: 1:21

Well, yeah, the North Pole has one of the largest sweatshops in the universe and, of course, this you know the elves were much like six-year-olds making mankeys. And Bangladesh, yeah, oh, my God, yeah, santa, think about that, whoa whoa, bro, whoa, you just put Santa on blast.

Speaker 2: 1:45

All right, part two. So welcome to Xmas. Part Two Two, you know I don't know if you Indeed. Yeah, I like that. I mean we're going to be touching on some Christmas shit, I feel, but I don't know if it's just going to be straight up, all like Santa, Santa, Santa or anything.

Speaker 3: 2:01

Film Santa Claus conquers the Martians that came out in 1964. What that, I shall endure and report back for the show. It's supposed to be one of the worst movies I've ever made.

Speaker 2: 2:11

Oh my God, yeah, that sounds pretty terrible. You know like, one thing that I learned when I was looking into this whole Christmas thing one more time is that it's just not all about Christmas, bro. There's just been some random crazy things that have happened on Christmas Day. I don't know. Do you think that'd be something we should tell these people? I feel like it might be. So, yeah, definitely Right.

Speaker 2: 2:39

For example, the first successful over eotomy was done on Christmas Day. That's a thing. So, although there are some claims that Robert Houston Houston, it's kind of spelled a little different, or this is a typo successfully performed the first over eotomy in 1701. And that's like the first, undoubted, they say, was performed on Jane Todd Crawford on Christmas Day in 1809, though, by Ephraim McDowell in the United States. Ephraim's a great name, strong name, so that's the thing. That was kind of crazy. You know, they've removed some ovaries, I'm guessing, you know. And that's a Merry Christmas, yeah, merry Christmas. So, also on Christmas Day, harry T Moore and Harriet VS Moore, who were some of the first activists of civil rights movement to be assassinated in the United States on the night of December 25th, holy shit. So there is some, just a second at that? Yeah, a part of that. Yeah, a bomb exploded in the Moore's house. Moving out of reason yeah, this is happening to people.

Speaker 2: 3:48

Yeah, welcome to. I Tell Stories, so anyway. So apparently a bomb exploded in Moore's house at 10, 20 pm in Mims Florida. Yeah, that was something that happened on Christmas Day, guys. Also. Here's a pretty cool one, though that I had. This is I was going to say this for later, but I'm going to break it out now the truths. For Christmas Day.

Speaker 2: 4:07

During the first Christmas of World War I, a seemingly remarkable thing happened. Soldiers on both sides of the front, france and Flanders, came out of the trenches, put down their weapons and celebrated Christmas together, known as the Christmas Truce. This truce was actually highly illicit and unofficial. Countless officers voiced their disapproval and tried to make sure that such an event never took place again. However, according to the Imperial War Museums, there were isolated incidents of soldiers holding brief truces throughout World War I. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, although the informal truce wasn't a universally observed thing, it occurred along almost two-thirds of the 30 mile front, which is trench warfare guys. So basically, the Germans and the US soldiers or French or British probably, I think is what it was actually the British and the Germans actually briefly held the truce from this crazy mustard gas-driven war and we're singing like Christmas carols together and like hanging out and drinking beer, I think.

Speaker 3: 5:07

Yeah, I saw something about that. They were playing a soccer game or a football game because, yeah, it was.

Speaker 3: 5:13

In this case it was British and Germans. Okay, see, that's pretty cool. Yeah, so they would enjoy each other's company and then just went back the next day to killing each other. Yeah, the war is obviously gruesome, but World War I everything I've read and I've been to one of the Imperial War Museums in England I think there's multiple but, yeah, pretty gruesome. But yeah, despite all that going on the day before and the day after on Christmas, they just were friends. You know, it's nuts to think that those you know although people had lives in that in the government just says you don't like this other government, so you're gonna go die. Most of it. But Merry Christmas everyone.

Speaker 2: 6:02

Yeah, merry Motherfucking Christmas says easy-e Something. Yeah, thank you for that, jim. Hey, also Mikhail Gorbachev. He resigned on Christmas Day, I just found out. Oh, dang, do the wire, that's what I just heard. Gorbachev. So yeah, but no for you, that, you guys.

Speaker 3: 6:24

Somebody told me that Simbaka was consumed on Christmas in Russia.

Speaker 2: 6:26

that day, yeah, I think so as well. I don't know, as far as Russia goes, gorbachev was probably the best thing that they had going for. I don't even know when was the last time Russia had a guy that wasn't totally insane in charge.

Speaker 3: 6:43

Well, that was like it was still the USSR. Yeah, yeah, it was. I think that's what his friends called. Him was Giddle Gorby Gorby, but yeah, he seems less. Yeah, Definitely nothing like what they're doing with these days, but yeah, any juice.

Speaker 2: 7:02

Hey, you know, it's weird about that is I just got a National Geographic in the mail and I had Rasputin on it and I was like, oh my god, he kind of looks like that Vladimir Putin with a beard. You know, maybe right dude, maybe Rasputin is still around and it's just Vladimir Putin. Okay, guys, I can't believe nobody's tried to put this together, like I have Just saying. Anyway, all right, so Christmas man, our ex miss part, do you know if anybody remembers like hot shots you know that's a classic. Then nobody remembers hot shots, at least a film. Yeah, that's a fine film.

Speaker 3: 7:38

So another Christmas movie, gremlins. We covered die hard last year to some extent, I believe, but gremlins is a classic. Yeah, it's a sad movie. I'm also one night.

Speaker 3: 7:51

It's not necessarily a Christmas movie, but something I just happened to catch most of last year, and it takes place over the Christmas holidays of the man who came to dinner, oh wow from 1942, I believe, and it is wild very famous radio personality from New York City is Basically doing a publicity stunt at a wealthy family in Ohio's home to eat dinner and he slips and breaks his hip on the ice with any insist on staying there while he recuperates and it's over like the holidays and he's just the most pompous, self-important Skips and everybody's business. Anyway, ridiculous things go on and on. Always staying there and yeah, that sounds like I'm gonna watch that again. All right, it's. Yeah, it's one of my favorite really old movies, honestly no, that sounds fantastic, man.

Speaker 2: 8:43

It sounds like something I might have to get into. I don't know. The one thing I want to touch on with some Christmas stuff that kind of goes on around the world, you know, but, but like what goes on right now, I know a lot of people who explore the lore, the old stuff. Right, that's fun though, isn't it? But I think it's kind of neat to talk about what's really going on right now because, you know, being as we're United in the United States, most people here think that we're the center of the fucking universe and they think that things only run our way and that's what everybody believes. It's not the case, and if you're not like that and you're just being quesitive, then right on, bro. So now, because not everybody's an asshole, I guess I always kind of like Assume everybody's being that way, right on, it's like they don't want to learn or something. But Anyway, so here we are.

Speaker 2: 9:33

Christmas in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Um, in the Congo it's more of a religious festival rather than being commercial. Most people won't have any presence. Christmas Eve is very important, with churches having having big musical events, may many acquires play at the same time. It's just kind of a whole big deal, but it's very like community. They all do it at once. They started at the beginning of the evening with the creation and the Garden of Eden and the story of King Herod killing the baby boys. So that's getting. What they do says about it is more of a big plan stuff and they actually like go back to work on the 26.

Speaker 2: 10:08

On Christmas Day, most families try to have a better meal than usual. If they can afford it, they will have something, something with meat, normally chicken or pork. So this is the type of how other countries celebrate Christmas Is they just kind of hang around and enjoy each other, and it's not as much about presents, because these guys really don't have anything. So they're pouring probably more right on with the Christmas than than us, I assume, in a weird way. And so that was the Republic of Congo Christmas in Greece. Are you interested in this? Oh yeah, oh yeah, okay.

Speaker 2: 10:40

So on Christmas Eve, children, especially boys, often go out singing kalanda In the streets. They play drums and triangles as they sing. Sometimes they will also carry model boats decorated with nuts which are painted gold. Carrying a boat is a very old custom in the Greek Islands, I guess. So if the children sing well, they might be given money as well as things to eat like nuts, sweetened sweets and dried figs. So it's, you know, caroling, that's kind of cool, and if they actually do that, still, that's very neat.

Speaker 2: 11:07

And an old, very traditional decoration is a shallow wooden bowl with a piece of wire Suspended across the rim, a sprig of basil wrapped around a wooden cross and hangs from the wire. Some water is kept in the bowl to keep the basil alive and fresh. Once a day someone usually the mother, the family dips across you know, it's a Christian thing and In the bays and some basil in the holy water and uses it to sprinkle water in each room of the house. So that's their tradition there. That was a little bit more like. You know. These aren't too bad, right? I don't know.

Speaker 3: 11:38

No, it's pretty, pretty cool. You want to guess what Americans spent on Christmas last year?

Speaker 2: 11:44

Oh, Is it a? What's a B? Yes okay, not that it's a bitch, it's like uh okay, let's go 400 billion. I don't know my way off more than double that oh my god.

Speaker 3: 12:00

I thought I was gonna overshoot it.

Speaker 2: 12:02

Okay, what is it at?

Speaker 3: 12:04

least 920.

Speaker 2: 12:07

Hmm, that's fucking ridiculous, and you know yeah.

Speaker 3: 12:12

Jebus. I wonder and it said in 2021, 42% of Americans said Christmas spending left them in debt. Well, yeah, I Don't know same.

Speaker 2: 12:24

I've been there a bit. I Mean like I mean, I've definitely like overdone it. It's a thing, especially when you have kids, like you know, you want to do good, you know, and they get you there, bro, the marketing fucking kicks your ass on that. And then cuz, you always kind of want to be like I don't know, I would like to get my kid shit, I'd love to if I can. I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I want to buy. I'm using the wife. Nicole has to be like well, maybe we shouldn't and we both kind of check each other on that, otherwise they'd already have more than they need, didn't? They already have more than they need, kind of deal. You know what I'm saying. So I've been sucked into that shit. It's real. It's real thing.

Speaker 3: 13:04

Yeah, I got the dog a gold chain. He left you.

Speaker 2: 13:08

Yeah, that was very nice. That's my kid. Yeah, very nice of him. He's a, he's a pleasant guy, he's he's a very you like Festivus, though For real you're not really.

Speaker 3: 13:21

I do. Yeah, I mean, of course, huge. I felt bad and that's one of the Right. You know it's so hard to pick favorite episodes but if at gunpoint, that would probably come to mind immediately. There's so many others, but it's just, and it's pretty cool that it was actually a Holiday. One of the writers, dan O'Keefe. His father celebrated. It's different than Than it is on Seinfeld, but it's involved putting a clock in a burlap sack and smashing it. Sometimes it's just like silly eyes, yeah, so yeah, that's all right. Have you ever done that? For sure, I'm not done that.

Speaker 3: 14:05

Well, it could be a gas, but Abundance of clocks and right, I don't know, I won't. Yeah, I don't think I'll be smashing anything right?

Speaker 2: 14:16

No, I get it in a burlap sack. Hey, yeah, Well, no, I hope not. Um hey, have you ever wondered if pirates celebrated Christmas?

Speaker 3: 14:27

I mean.

Speaker 2: 14:33

Yeah, so pirates. You know, in the 18th century Christmas was like very church going, family visits, caroling, feasting, dancing and drinking. They didn't have tech, talk or all that crap, right? No, internet, no whoo, all that shit, right. So, being humans and coming primarily from Christian countries where Christmas was a major social religious holiday, it seems reasonable to assume that they did celebrate Christmas and also Pirates, being is that like they were very cool with everybody. It was such a mixed bag. I mean you had people from all over the world on the same ship that were Muslim or Hindu or all these different things, and then different sex of these things or whatever you want to call them Right. And pirates are always really cool with everybody's religion because it was kind of a free culture. But I have read things where they do kind of like feast and stuff and if you think about, like most religions, when Christmas is kind of around, it's just the general winter feast for most, like it seems, religions, you know it's kind of like I mean Hanukkah and all that stuff occurs on Christmas. I know those are pretty close religions. I mean, why really say that? But I know they're all in the same realm of stuff.

Speaker 2: 15:39

I feel so like a lot of these people probably did actually celebrate Christmas and then also they traditional English dish for Christmas back then in 1800s was a boar's head. Yeah, and pirates, that's like one of the main things. They, they hunted an ape because you know the Spanish when they were colonizing everything. They, they left wild pigs all over the fucking place and that's why there's pigs like on all these islands and shit, and that's also what they used to To eat. So they probably had the, the tools to make the traditional English dish at least. And why would these other people not want to fucking join in and Sing songs and do all that shit right? So it's to me, I feel like, even though it doesn't take it down, like, oh hey, this is like a very pirate thing that they like stopped the ship and did Christmas stuff. I feel like pirates definitely celebrated Christmas treat.

Speaker 2: 16:36

Yeah, that's the end result there. I mean, I couldn't find any direct proof, and this is some of this stuff comes from an article. It does say that they there's a very likelihood that they garnished, like you know, the ship with evergreen's and such like that. So Pretty exciting.

Speaker 3: 16:51

I think I don't know what else one can only wonder what they would think of blue Montes Dominic, the Italian Christmas song, if it were around in pirate days.

Speaker 2: 17:01

Oh my god, you know they would sing it. It'd be the best. Yeah, I don't know, man, that's a very look that one up people if you haven't heard it.

Speaker 3: 17:10

It's obnoxious.

Speaker 2: 17:12

But pretty funny, right? I can listen to that song a few times. Yeah, it's not that bad. I mean, there's worse things. I've listened to Some of that. Yeah, I don't even want to get. I don't want to start talking shit about music. Let's not do that. It's very happy, you know? Uh, here's the best Christmas album of all time, or at least has a couple tracks that I consider to be some. Of the best Christmas songs of all time is razz-cass Christmas. Yeah, look it up, you know I'm saying so. The Grinch, you sold dubstep.

Speaker 3: 17:44

I can't go wrong with razz.

Speaker 2: 17:45

No, no, he's the Jewish man I raise. He's a Jew.

Speaker 3: 17:51

I Somebody told me that I don't know it to be, so I have never read the Torah with him, but I would yeah, I mean I should look into that because it's not the first time it's come up.

Speaker 2: 18:01

I do know that on one of the songs on that album he talks about just like his mom making tamales and how, even though he doesn't celebrate Christmas, if she gives him something he damn show gonna take. It is I?

Speaker 1: 18:14

Know yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:14

So see you know, I don't like the English. Go ahead, yes, but like the English.

Speaker 3: 18:21

English every year since 1947 has accepted a 65-foot Christmas tree from Norway that weighs roughly 8,000 pounds. Oh yeah, that's crazy. King, hack on. I don't know if I'm saying I right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The seven and government officials were given refuge in the UK when German forces evaded Norway in April 1940, and the British also helped to organize resistance efforts. Yeah, for the Norwegians.

Speaker 2: 18:52

The pretty cool yearly gift. No, that's pretty legit. Yeah, they're way to go Norway. What's up with, you know, the Vikings and shit, all those tribes? They're like the most peaceful people on the planet these days, are they not? I mean, like dad's fires.

Speaker 3: 19:08

I know no, but a few angry Swedes, danes or Norwegians have never been Seem pleasant.

Speaker 2: 19:16

I do know back in the day in the West there was some Swedes to be reckoned with, I feel. I don't know why I think that, but it's a thing. But no, they seem to be pretty, pretty docile folks. So a way to go a Norseman of the day you know, cool technically.

Speaker 3: 19:34

As a Christmas gift one year Abraham Lincoln got the city of Savannah. A telegram from Union General William T Sherman in 1964, declared the gift of the city. Quote I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah with 150 heavy guns and plenty of ammunition and also about 25,000 sales of cotton.

Speaker 2: 19:57

Yeah, damn, that's pretty cool. Go Lincoln Right, yeah, yeah okay.

Speaker 3: 20:03

You got a city and a bunch of heavy guns and some cotton.

Speaker 2: 20:06

Yeah, right, all right. Here we are.

Speaker 3: 20:09

Yeah, we are in Mia City.

Speaker 2: 20:11

You know this Abraham Lincoln character. I feel like he's pretty important character in history. I did. We brought him up twice on holiday episodes. Now, because didn't you have a Fact about, or was it Friday the 13th that Abraham Lincoln came up?

Speaker 3: 20:26

Oh, I think it's the turkey that there's that, that Rumor that was accepted, even published in the media, that his son had asked him to pardon the turkey. But if there's no actual evidence of it, so oh yeah, abe around the holidays, yep, and also there's something about when Nevada Became. So that was. I think that was right. So yeah, he's all over the place.

Speaker 2: 20:51

Go Abe.

Speaker 3: 20:51

Yeah, this Abe character, he's got my vote, you know any kills vampires, apparently, according to Hollywood cinema, which never let us astray.

Speaker 2: 21:02

Never once, never once has it ever groomed us in any way. Hey the um, that movie is actually pretty cool. Have you ever watched it?

Speaker 3: 21:13

I'm not sure.

Speaker 2: 21:14

I don't know like I'm being serious right now. Like me, and Nicole have watched it.

Speaker 3: 21:19

Why more than I haven't seen all the way through, that's for sure, but I'm trying to think. If I saw this part of it, or just remember here, right, couldn't believe it when the ads came out for it, right?

Speaker 2: 21:32

It seems as ridiculous. It's like what the even fuck, I know. The first time I seen it I did not come into it very optimistic, I will not lie. It came on, we were started watching it and you know about ten minutes into it I was like you know what? This is pretty fucking cool. I mean, I get it. It's supposed to be far fetched is all hell, but that's perfect for me right now, and they know I thought it was a true story, yeah.

Speaker 3: 21:59

That I like next you're gonna tell me Star Wars isn't real.

Speaker 2: 22:02

Come on or like sinter claws or Santa Claus is not real. Coca-cola didn't make him up, right.

Speaker 3: 22:11

Well, no, I mean remember, he was real till he forgot Chuck Norris's Christmas gift. Ooh, roundhouse.

Speaker 2: 22:18

Chuck to the face. We didn't forget about you, chuck. Merry Christmas, merry motherfucking. Chuck, miss Chuck Norris, all right.

Speaker 3: 22:25

I just want your.

Speaker 2: 22:26

Christmas. I want the transcript to say Chuck Norris a few times, and you know, just let him know. Merry Christmas, chuck, that's all. Hey, you know we were talking talking about some northern folk. You know some. And you know, when we talk about the Nordic people, we're not talking about the aliens. You fucking. You know, you guys, you believe in all sorts of shit which could be real or not, I don't know, you alien folks, but they're not the Nordic aliens, not all Swedes or aliens, guys. I wonder if that's why that comes from that, because sometimes it may seem a little bit awkward to rednecks like Swedish people, ordains or what not, so they're like these guys have to be fucking aliens. So anyway, that's from another episode.

Speaker 2: 23:09

People check it out aliens. It's like in the beginning, you know, back when we were just fresh. We're still pretty fresh, but we ain't quite as wet behind the ears anyway. So on to our next little tale. I'd like to introduce you guys to the 13 yule lads from Iceland, because Iceland is a place, guys, it's a country, and there's not that many fucking people there. I found out in researching the yule lads. I think they're like whole population is like 350,000 people. Kind of blew my mind. Did you know that? Yeah, the country.

Speaker 2: 23:42

Yeah it's like fucking tiny. Unless I misread something, but I was it was very clear that it was not very big and so the other thing, that's kind of fucked up. I was pranked, okay, and I'm never trusting, oh, and quite like I used to again, because he was like just talked to me, he's like oh, yeah, do you know, I think from Iceland are called the landies, and I was like, oh really, I was like, well, that's kind of weird. Oh, I guess, sure, or whatever. You know, I did like I said something about it, just fucking around with him talking about how we were gonna do. I was gonna talk about some Iceland shit on the episode and I was like are the landies or whatever? He's like, yeah, I just made that up. And I was like, oh, fuck you, I'm glad, like that's not something I said to somebody.

Speaker 2: 24:24

Hey, owen said that I would make sure Landies yeah, so I don't know if you want sounds like it. It does sound right.

Speaker 3: 24:31

Maybe, ooh, maybe, we're gonna get some going right big friend to Iceland and hang out the landies like that sounds like it checks out.

Speaker 2: 24:39

It sounds like an Icelandic pop band Landies in landies in the walrus yeah, I don't know, get on it, bjork. Anyway. So Iceland, 13 yule lads. They're like mischievous Santas. Apparently I'm not gonna. I've seen that a lot of people kind of been touching on these in podcasts, so I'm just gonna Get it cracking and do it our sort of way and in that way I'm just gonna go ahead and start listing them off one at a time and we'll take it from there.

Speaker 2: 25:12

All right, the first of these yule lads, which I guess I'll explain a little bit, are 13 little like kind of elven troll folk that visit you, you leading up to Christmas. So they each come on their own independent day and after they perform their tasks they leave until Christmas. And you know they're. They're sort of Santa, ish, I don't know. You decide, you decide. The yule lads. The first one Sheep coat, clawed.

Speaker 2: 25:40

He tries to sneak in a suckle use in farmer sheep sheds. That's this guy. That's what he does on on Christmas and you are leading up to Christmas and people are wary of them and they're very serious about this in Iceland. This isn't a joke. They're actually like really the yule lads are like what they do. They don't do. Santa.

Speaker 2: 25:57

The other guy translated English as gully gock. He steals foam from buckets of cow milk and Some of these, and it seems very food-driven. I'm gonna point out real quick that up until recently, which even at this point, iceland is expensive to eat and Do all these things like, for you know, iceland is a really rugged place to live, so starvation was a real thing, guys. So these guys stealing your food was fucked up. Okay, now this guy, this guy I know one likes this guy. Yeah, it's stubby, all right, he's short, and steals food from frying pans, apparently. So that's stubby spoon liquor another favorite nice blend of sand, cuz he licks spoons. If you're not good, oh, run around your house and lick your fucking spoons. People, these are all things they do if you're bad. Okay, by the way, pot scraper, aka pot liquor, that's his street name. They hit through an aka on me. He steals unwashed pots and licks them clean. That doesn't sound like such a fucking bad thing, but it does sound disgusting.

Speaker 3: 26:55

I don't want my dishes licked clean, but some fucking munchkin from the hell. What? Yeah, it's like clean, it's like, oh, let the dogs do the dishes. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:08

I'm faulty, faulty as fuck. Bowl liquor. Sometimes the translation comes out a little different, I think. Maybe I don't know, but bowl liquor, he steals bowls of food from under the bed. Who the fuck use bowls of food under the bed? Kids, I guess?

Speaker 3: 27:29

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 27:33

Anyway, back in the old days, ice flenders used to sometimes store bowls of food there, convenient for midnight snacking. So there was a thing. Another one of these guys door slammer. He stomps around the slams doors, keeping everybody awake. If you're not here, whatnot? The next one skier gobbler, skier, skier. However you say it, it's like a fucking yogurt. Oh, it's Icelandic, it's not too bad. Actually, I like it. So apparently if you're bad, he'll eat up all your Icelandic yogurt. Now here's one of the ones, right here's the one you got to watch out for. This couple, these last ones that are a little bit a I don't know and to be honest with you, from another shit and I didn't get a deep, deep, didn't get to dig as deep as I want to into some of this, but apparently some of these guys are really rugged in the older stories. The next one is a bit weird, but, um, sausage swiper. Okay, he likes to hang up in the rafters and watch people smoke sausage and then steal it while they're smoking the sausage. And, sir, any joke one.

Speaker 2: 28:38

Yeah, what a prick. It's a joke here. Oh Anyway, next one creepy of all creeps Window peeper. Yeah, so apparently the bad. He likes to creep outside windows and sometimes steal the stuff he sees inside or burglar. So if he likes to like creep around and like check you out and then steal your stuff, it's like creeping in their underwear drawers. What's going on Iceland? Was this like a way to get people out of jail when they were doing that shit? It was, it wasn't me, it was the window peeper. Um, another favorite in Iceland door snapper. He has a huge nose and insatiable appetite for stolen baked goods, so he likes to sniff your doors. I don't know about that last guy I'm gonna well to meet hook. He snatches up any meat left out, especially smoked lamb. Sounds like Lynch, so your dog could be a. Is your dog possibly a yulad? Mmm, that's a question.

Speaker 3: 29:39

No, I will say any of these motherfuckers that were creeping around my house. I would be known as the pistol whipper. Oh my, god.

Speaker 2: 29:52

So then you, that's what you would do to the candle beggar Right when he came to steal your candles, which used to be sought after items in Iceland, because it's fucking dark there, guys.

Speaker 3: 30:02

All right.

Speaker 2: 30:04

People like candles. People love candles. Iceland, you know, I think I was thinking about this and, like man, it'd be so cool to go to Iceland. I was like I fucking hate snow, I hate cold weather. I am not a fan. I'm in Washington right now and this is not bad at all. I think it's like 50 something today, but I'm wearing a hoodie and I have the heater on and like fuck. Just saying that's me. But nonetheless, bro, I think we should go to Iceland someday and maybe we'll inspect, look around for some of these yulads.

Speaker 2: 30:34

I know these guys have some pretty cool stuff that they believe in and I think some of it's still kind of a thing for them. I know that there was a point in time I think it was 1792 where they actually had banned the tale of the yulads because it was scaring the shit out of the kids. Like they were doing it to the point to where, like it was fucking kids up, and so the government was like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, no more creepy old men with beards stealing and sniffing stuff or licking things and sausage that are called laughs. These guys are not lads at this point, they're old, weird men. Okay, it brought me to around your house and Scaring the shit out of your children so that that maybe they just had a real pervert problem in Iceland at the time. Yeah, so they're like beware of these guys.

Speaker 2: 31:23

I'm sure there wasn't too many females over there, guys Just saying, look at like the numbers in like places like Alaska, you know pretty out, pretty different there, yeah. So nonetheless, on McMichael, on Festivus and all these other things that we talked about, what, what do you have anything that's kind of you want to mention?

Speaker 3: 31:46

Beyond um spoon liquor.

Speaker 2: 31:48

As far as Festivus, the holiday itself, or whatever you want, bro, it's your show. Talk about.

Speaker 3: 31:55

I think for me personally, the tradition is now going to become a king crab legs for Festivus.

Speaker 2: 32:01

Really.

Speaker 3: 32:01

Okay, that's my dinner piece. Yeah Right, of course, that's kind of like every holiday I'm meeting George Zach because it's one of the best shit, but that's great.

Speaker 3: 32:10

No it is funny because it does have the like anti-commercial. That was the whole. The whole reason given on time felt this that Frank Costanza George's dad hated the commercialism of the major holidays and so he started. He puts up a aluminum pole because he finds tinsel distracting. Yeah, but I did have a couple other just really interesting historical Christmas gift that I thought I Guess in 1774 it said that Count Orlov Gains Catherine the great a 189.62 carrot diamond. She was this former lover and he was trying to get her back. Ice Cube would not endorse that move.

Speaker 2: 32:55

No, whatsoever not even, didn't even work.

Speaker 3: 32:58

But she kept the motherfucker and put it on a royal scepter. Oh, she became a wizard. Many historians are skeptical. We've all had to. Couldn't have had close to enough money to purchase such a massive gym, so I was said to be stolen from India and Rather than. Catherine made up this story to deflect tension from all the extreme excesses that she had. You know, people, people were starving and just rocking stuff like that.

Speaker 2: 33:24

So making rappers jealous Since back then. Yeah, alright, that's a good one man. What if I can turn her into a wizard? Here's a big gemstone, put on a scepter. That sounds like some weird shit. What a trifling bitch.

Speaker 3: 33:40

Anyway, go right ahead and I got and you probably know about King Louie given the elephant to. Was it in England? Obviously the king. But Okay, henry the third, oh, okay, yeah yeah yeah, like, oh, thanks for the gift. Like now you have to take it, feed and take care of this giant animal. That's completely out of its element. And yeah, but what?

Speaker 2: 34:03

year was that? In what year was he Sorry?

Speaker 3: 34:10

by the way, shoot, I didn't even have it. It was. Yeah, we went through a lot to get the elephant.

Speaker 2: 34:17

I was just gonna point out, yeah, so I'm not sure what you imagine like hauling an elephant on a boat, but back Well.

Speaker 3: 34:26

Yeah, that's the thing it had to get back there after his army Just got Molly WAP in Egypt. He nearly died at disontary while being held captive, but they got an elephant In Ellie font. Yeah, delivered to the Kentish coach. Kentish coast.

Speaker 3: 34:44

Say that Fast, yeah we're being walked along the Canterbury and finally the elephant was delivered to the Tower of London. But you know, on the Thames, yeah, that'd be a pretty damn big boat. Yeah, but I guess Henry had many wild creatures. Yeah, probably not as many as Montezuma, no, but yeah, funded by the sheriff's, there's a large wooden elephant house built, it's sadly, at the elephant. We've made it a couple years before dang that poor Ellie font.

Speaker 2: 35:18

Yeah, no, what a thing. Hey, yeah, you know, back then to like any of them, bur, like peacocks were a big fucking deal, to just a lot of these things were a big deal, so Just kind of what it was, man. But I do appreciate your elephant story there, my friend, about a king who Probably mistreated this thing. You know I probably had a rough go at it getting back. That was fucked up, or elephant Didn't even have a name hey nobody remembers the cell if it's name.

Speaker 2: 35:50

No, I didn't see you want to name this elephant your name. Ah, let's name it. Let's give it a name. What's, what was his elephants name? Let's try. Let's go to shot Bruce. Trunky, trunky, oh, cuz he was like a. Yeah, he was, yeah. There we go, trunky, all right, trunky. God rest Trunky.

Speaker 3: 36:09

I Did see a much less extravagant odd gift on reddit Okay, weirdest Christmas presents and One was a bunch of obsidian flakes in a cat food tin wrapped in aluminum foil and it said it was a gift from my friend. Across the street I would be thinking about moving if someone at any point brought me cat food tin. Was like flakes of obsidian after tin foil.

Speaker 2: 36:35

Yeah that's a bit ridiculous.

Speaker 3: 36:36

I don't even know what symbolizes or what. It does not sound like they're playing with a full deck?

Speaker 2: 36:43

No, were they making arrowheads? How do you have these little city of flakes unaware? Have you been by a volcano? What are you doing? I don't even know right.

Speaker 3: 36:53

Drinking mysterbrow of cousin Eddie, cousin Eddie, hey, I'm glad that you, which apparently my sister was a real beer that was basically taken over by Miller light at some point. Really, that's something I learned about.

Speaker 2: 37:05

Yeah, maybe Christmas another obviously great we miss.

Speaker 3: 37:08

We mentioned the Christmas vacation last year. I believe right for sure. Hey, you know I didn't know, we drunk mysterbrow.

Speaker 2: 37:18

Oh my goodness, cousin, it can't know. It's okay, this is. That was a good fact. I like that it came up. I just wanted to say something real quick. I'm sorry, canada, for like Trashing your boxing day forever. I used to talk shit about all the time, not like for real, but just, you know, being like, oh, whatever, why? Why boxing day? Why does that have to be different from American? Right, that's right, you know, I thought that way. I feel anyway. I kind of like it, because when I look more into how it is and it seems like it's a more inclusive holiday and they didn't have to like dance around it. They just called it a boxing day, that's it. If you want to celebrate Christmas on boxing day, you can't. You can go right the fuck ahead. Very pirate of you, canada. I know there we are. Nonetheless, you know France had a lot of fucking pirates. We should touch on some of those someday.

Speaker 2: 38:09

I think of that because I just feel that my head's very all over the place on this warm Christmas-y season. It's a real thing. There's go ahead, man, go right ahead.

Speaker 3: 38:24

We also just had winter solstice. The shorter day of the year is almost nine hours darker than the summer solstice. It's crazy to think about. That's almost nine more hours of sunlight, I know, and the earliest sunset is actually a few days before the solstice, as Our clocks don't match up perfectly with the right. Yeah, everything's spinning.

Speaker 2: 38:52

The world keeps spinning. The world keeps turning. Right, we didn't start the fire. Welcome to. I tell stories. Um, yeah, that's a good one, bro, I like that shit. Yeah, dude, winter solstice, it's a real thing. You know, I look at that because I am an anti winter fellow over here. I like the warm weather, I like to go outside and not have to wear a coat, that kind of thing, and I'm not taking a shot at any use gears or whatever's going on there. But that's just how I feel about it and then how I feel about the winter solstice. What's so great is all up hill from here, guys. You know we're gonna start getting more daylight slowly, but surely be great.

Speaker 3: 39:34

Right, that's true. Yeah, that's some me outlook.

Speaker 2: 39:38

Well, yeah, more, son. I'm just saying you know. So use this time wisely. Maybe something you should read a book or listen to more. I tell stories or visit the website at pitlocksupplycom and get a shirt, because we are cool, we're entertaining crackers, oh and, and I own a box of entertaining crackers from.

Speaker 3: 40:02

Was it Albert? This is from Albert's another brand. They're really good to open rain or.

Speaker 2: 40:10

Open nature. Oh, I think that's their like store brand. So way to go, albert's, since I'm making some entertaining crackers for.

Speaker 3: 40:18

I don't think, yeah, no no man.

Speaker 2: 40:21

Hey, this is very Christmas. He Owen, what would you eat on a Christmas cracker? Go, okay.

Speaker 3: 40:33

I say one of my favorite, max, that these rosette crackers that are basically like a croissant and a cracker had a lovely baby. That's creepy but linchin. Anyway, they're delicious and, yeah, like muscles or oysters on them, rastaulla nice. That's great. We're important, jesus. Hmm, yeah, travel, yeah, there goes quite well with them. Yeah, my old Italian cheese.

Speaker 2: 41:02

Okay, I like that. I feel like I'll go with some medium cheddar Tillamook and I do like like some Boris head ham and possibly pepperoni. If I'm good, we're gonna go with exactly what I want on my entertaining crackers. For these entertaining crackers, yeah, so Fantastic. You know, it only took a couple dark turns, guys, this Christmas episode. I think we actually pulled through and made it pretty cheery.

Speaker 2: 41:33

I want you to remember that we're done with winter solstice shits behind us, depending on when you listen, and you know it's all uphill from here, guys. And Also, I want I know New Year's Eve's coming up on, but we talk about this often. You don't need a specific date to start Changing your life, being great or trying to do cool things with yourself, right? So just do it today. Yeah, mm-hmm, that's my word for, just just cuz I don't know it's kind of show I'm thinking about lately. Yeah, you don't need to like make any. You know what. We're probably do some new year stuff, who knows. But like you don't need a resolution, you should already be just like being like hey, this is the day I'm just gonna do it. Okay, here we are. From now on, I'm just gonna be a nice Guy, gal right or gal guy? Whatever the fucks going on, you know so whatever is going on, what's going on?

Speaker 2: 42:26

Yeah, so anyway. Happy feasting season for everybody. That's a new one. Let's try that. I don't know, I'm not even, I don't even give a shit. Happy holidays, merry Christmas, happy Boxing Day. What's the one in England?

Speaker 3: 42:42

Boxing day too. No, but I don't know guy fucks day I fucks there.

Speaker 2: 42:46

Is that what that is? Is that Halloween? I don't know none of the.

Speaker 3: 42:52

No, no, no. I hate on holidays here. I like, I like the strong day which will be celebrated next year. That is already a thing. Oh good, this guested on here. I looked it up. It's a thing, I missed it. I'm upset. Oh man, that's my New Year's evolution. I will not miss to strong you day.

Speaker 2: 43:09

It's like a lumberjack miss flannel day. Yes, yes, nonetheless. I meant, like, what do they say to each other? Oh, Happy. Christmas. Hey, here's Adam at the end of this episode. Say bye, Maybe it won't work Anyway much love everybody.

Speaker 3: 43:28

And apparently January 14th 2024 is National Hop astronomy day.

Speaker 2: 43:32

So bad ass, my friend. You thought it might, I'll be there.

Speaker 3: 43:39

It's a Christmas miracle.