I Tell Stories
I Tell Stories Podcast covers a wide range of topics discussed by Colt Draine and Owen "The Mic" McMichael. From the scourge on humanity of violent business hippies and Scott Baio to peculiar Serbian Mother's Day traditions,the boys offer their unique perspective. Revolutionary artists,legends of folklore and bizzare following of fast food items are just a few of the subjects touched on. I Tell Stories aims to bring attention to individuals and occerrences that are too interesting to be forgotten. Two long time friends who keep each other laughing give listeners their take on the world. Everyone has a story, these are ours and those of many others.
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I Tell Stories
ITS Head Quarters: Shanty Talks
Ever wondered how many Switzerlands could fit into Montana? Or why a town in California pronounces "almonds" differently? Join us for a whimsical journey through geography, food, and quirky local trivia. We start with a playful comparison of Switzerland, Montana, and Rhode Island, revealing some surprising facts about their sizes. Then, we dive into the origins of almonds, exploring a debated history that points to Asia, despite Spain’s strong association with these tasty nuts. Plus, we share a fun tidbit about a town in California that calls them "almonds" and speculate on their high school mascot. And, for a musical twist, we touch on the legacy of the Allman Brothers.
In the second part, prepare to be amused as we guess how many castles are in Scotland and discuss the historical and cultural quirks of the Scots. We’ll also give a nod to Germany with a chat about the beloved fast food dish, currywurst, and its cultural significance. Wrapping things up, we clear up the misunderstood origins of french fries and highlight the song "General Store" by Smoove-E from the Rusty Squeezebox album. We also share exciting news about upcoming members-only episodes. Tune in for a blend of random facts, humor, and musical shout-outs that promise to entertain and enlighten!
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Support the Show!!!
Ahoy hoy, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up? My friend Ready set go. What it is, man, my landlocked friend with the ahoy hoy. I love that. That's the best. Not that I'm out here sailing on the West Coast or anything.
Speaker 2:It would work on a lake though, wouldn't it, or no?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess like Elmo would count Maybe.
Speaker 2:Loading a raft with like a I don't know.
Speaker 1:Lake Elmo is a small lake in the heights in Billings Montana. It's not very big and it's not very clean. I don't think, unless it's better now. I'm unsure, I don't know. It's been a long time, guys, so no judgment being passed here on purpose.
Speaker 2:It's uninspiring, shall we say.
Speaker 1:Uninspiring. That's good. So you know, this is just going to be like kind of we're going to talk and I'm going to Google stuff, I guess, and the reason that we're doing this is because the other day we were talking on the phone and we were talking about the size of Switzerland in comparison of, like, montana and Rhode Island, which I know this is stuff people do kind of know, maybe or whatever, but it was fucking funny. So at the end of the day I just thought it'd be kind of funny to like just get Owen's opinion on some things or see what he thinks about stuff you know what I'm saying things, or see what he thinks about stuff. You know what I'm saying. Like we found out, for example, that switzerland would fit like almost what was it nine times into montana, I feel, because I don't, I don't know, let's do this now how many.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, check it because that's it. I didn't think it was that crazy, but I know italy is about 70 the the size of Montana, with 60 times the population. There's a little over a million people in Montana and there's over 60 million in Italy, right.
Speaker 1:Bravo, Bravo, Right. I need to get faster at typing Switzerland's fucking long Guys. Cut your shit down. You know they're going to like onkify names like Japan and stuff like that. We need to do something with Switzerland, Dang. It's a very long name, guys. Anyway, nonetheless, I'm stalling for time, Sorry, and then I got lost because I was getting high before I did this. Switzerland is about one-tenth the size of Montana, so roughly like nine and a half times I don't know. It's only 15,904 square miles, guys, and Montana is like 147,000, I believe. So we're smart because we use Google sometimes, people. That's another thing. That's kind of fun, you know, when you just explore random things like that, like hey Ellen, for example. Uh, you know what's your, what's those almonds? You really like the ones that you're like, oh my God, these are the best fucking things ever, or something.
Speaker 2:I mean, like Marcona or Valencia, you're going to win either way. I mean, I like any almonds really, but yeah, the Spanish seem to have the almond market cornered.
Speaker 1:Right, so did they come? Where do almonds come from? Is it Spain? I don't know. Do you know, owen? I just want to know.
Speaker 2:I mean, I know those ones too.
Speaker 1:Originate from. All right, we're learning stuff. People right now on I Tell Stories. Oh, it's a topic of debate, apparently, but it seems to all land somewhere in Asia. So that's a thing. Yeah, very debatable these almonds, but they did find their way to Spain. Thanks, guys, Right.
Speaker 2:They call them almonds. In Winters, california, it's right near where my mom lives and it's a big almond community, but for some reason they call them Almonds.
Speaker 1:An almond community Like Amish yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know if they're Amish, but that'd be good alliteration Right. Oh my god, what is their high?
Speaker 1:school mascot. Do you know? I don't know if they're Amish, but that'd be good alliteration, right? Amish almond, oh my God.
Speaker 2:What is their high school mascot, do you?
Speaker 1:know, I want to say the Hawks, but I could be way off. It's not the Almonds. Yeah, it's not. Oh, hey, you know what Good band the Allman Brothers.
Speaker 2:Jesus, get out of there, yeah.
Speaker 1:How many of them are?
Speaker 2:Good band though the Allman.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're a mess. Anyway, I don't even know. I don't want to even look into the Allman Brothers. It's a pretty tragic tale, guys, to be honest. We look at musical curses, I believe, right, mm-hmm. So if you want to learn more about the allman brothers, check out musical curses. I tell stories, fold life, hey. Or maybe check out pillock supplycom and get a I tell story shirt. We have a few, they're pretty cool. All right, guys, let's roll. Podcastlandia and owen mcmichael, the mick himself. How many castles do you think are in scotland? Just wild guess more than four. Well, come on per square, uh, 500. Okay, let's roll. How many castles are in scotland? This is insane. This is so fast guys. This, this world these days, it's pretty cool. So the answer is over 1,000 to over 3,000, depending on the source, but you know so.
Speaker 2:How hard is it to count castles? I think we may have touched on this on the Scottish one, just like that's rather vague, or like it's something like oh well, seamus is the Irish, but Angus says it's a castle. It looks like a fucking hut.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that ain't a castle, this is a castle. It's like the Australian. Like you know, mick Dundee, you know, big fan of him, by the way. Crocodile Dundee, dundee, you know, big fan of him, by the way, crocodile Dundee, the first one I liked. I grew up on that shit. Alright, guys, leave me alone about it, but that's how Scotland, this isn't a castle, this is a castle. And then they have a bigger one. Yeah, pretty amazing, though, all those castles that they can't count in Scotland, apparently Like they don't have fucking planes. What's going on with your people, your ancestors.
Speaker 2:They're not known for their counting ability, especially after a few squitches?
Speaker 1:why are they so argumentative? Why do you guys do that shit? What is going on in history cause it's not just a thing like you think. Willie the groundskeeper from the Simpsons is just kinda like playing on some fucking you know honky racism or what not, I guess, or stereotypical shit, but no, in history the Scots are very indecisive and whatnot. The reason they say that the Romans were able to kind of corral them was because they couldn't stop fighting each other.
Speaker 2:Well, I thought the Romans were just kind of like all right, y'all are fucking crazy, Like we'll just build this wall. You guys can stay here, we won't bother you, Right, Just don't yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, it was kind of like the pics right, yeah, but that's like. I don't want to get this wrong, it doesn't matter Anyway, Scots. So why do you think they're so argumentative? The Scots, Is it the?
Speaker 2:that wouldn't help. I mean I'm I try and you know, or tend to be, a rather good natured individual, but if I was forced to eat fucking, if the best thing I had as an option was a deep fried piece of pizza in Edinburgh, I would probably not be as happy. Go lucky, shall we say. And yeah, I mean the fish has got to be good. I mean I would hope you would think, but other than that you don't hear anything good about Scottish cuisine.
Speaker 1:No, or just.
Speaker 2:UK in general, hmm, or even really Ireland, just kind of that. Yeah, it's like you know.
Speaker 1:Right Everything I'm seeing online here. Guys, why are Scottish people so aggressive? And it just says Scottish people are generally known for being friendly and welcoming.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. It's like we're basing this off of Groundskeeper Willie. Yeah, I don't know what other aggressive Scotsman is portrayed in major media.
Speaker 1:You know, mike Myers, if it's not Scottish, it's crap. All right, let's not forget.
Speaker 2:I mean, maybe they just sound. It's kind of like if you ever heard German being spoken, you know you could be saying like oh, welcome to my home, would you like a donut? And it sounds like you're threatening someone's grandmother, you know. I mean, it's very just like yeah, I don't know, maybe it's the like no, yeah, it doesn't sound like a, a love language.
Speaker 1:A welcoming yeah. Yeah, well, german's not a love language either, but shout out to Germany, by the way. Well, german's not a love language either, but shout out to Germany, by the way. We got some listeners out there consistently. So keep it up, guys. Much love Deutschland, yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's see here Ooh, I did try currywurst. That is the hugest thing in Germany, really Apparently. I finally tried that in the last month or so.
Speaker 1:What the fuck is that? I just looked up something about grass.
Speaker 2:It's's a bratwurst with curried ketchup, which I'm not typically a huge ketchup guy, but I'm guessing shout out prerogative kitchen Red.
Speaker 1:Lodge Montana Right.
Speaker 2:I'm looking it up right now. Yeah, so currywurst. So I saw it on Bourdain. He was eating in Germany, I think it was Berlin. He was eating with some film experts at this theater and he's just like and it comes with fries usually, I guess, like there you get everything a la carte, so you order it individually, right?
Speaker 1:But yeah it was delicious, hmm, so Well, anyway, yeah, it's a Again Deutschen. Yes, it is a fast food dish of German origin consisting of sausage with curry ketchup. Hmm, it was invented in 1949 by Hertha Hewitt. I hope I say that, right, hertha. Not sure Our German folks drop us a line if I said that right, that'd be cool. I don't know, anyway, but apparently there's a Deutsches Currywurst Museum. There's that that exists, and it estimates that 800 million currywursts are eaten every year in Germany. Right, with 70 million in Berlin alone. Jeez Damn. So we think we know everything, america, we don't. I want to eat some currywurst. That sounds funny to say, but it looked kind of good guys, and I do like french fries. I don't know France. Oh man, we invented french fries, right.
Speaker 2:Well, you and I did not. I don't know how much we were drinking at the Shantyplex, but they were already around before we were alive. But I think they are very.
Speaker 1:American. Right, they are. Yeah, you know, that's kind of funny. That's kind of like being a fan of a sports team and being like we won the title, you know? No, you didn't, you watched that game.
Speaker 2:You weren't even sitting on the bench, bro. Yeah, you didn't even go to a game this year. They didn't let you, you didn't win.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they didn't let you try out. Guy, guy, gal, gal, guy, I don't know. Whatever you want to be, guys, let's see, it's your world. Currywurst that was amazing. Owen Would have dropped some knowledge, so you did try that. That's an amazing German dish. I don't know much about German food, to be honest, beyond sausage-style things at all actually Sauerkraut, I'm assuming. Right, I don't know, yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, Although I mean that's been, it's kind of it's rather similar to kimchi.
Speaker 1:I say Well, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Just a pickled cabbage Right.
Speaker 1:Weird. I wonder, if I don't know much about it. Do you think Germans still like David Hasselhoff?
Speaker 2:He didn't even find out. We were like joking about it and he actually did sing it, like the fall of the Berlin Wall. I was like, oh, a much more, slightly more historical, historically significant event, the Berlin Wall falling than the Hoff singing songs. But I guess the two were in unison. As the Berlin Wall fell, Hasselhoff sang his salads I tell stories.
Speaker 1:God bless, god bless German Hoffers. I guess I don't know if they like to be called that either. By the way, it's not a thing. Hey, I did just find out. Why do Americans think that we Germans like David Hasselhoff? I've heard this. I don't know, though. I've heard this some time ago, but I have only ever seen him in the SpongeBob movie. I probably would have never heard of him if it wasn't for that movie. Is it just me, and is he more popular somewhere else in Germany, or where does this come from?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I know of it from Norm MacDonald which if Norm got dressed right that just he would like on the oh, oh, oh.
Speaker 1:my God, this is great, bro. Okay, somebody this is, this is there's. Somebody replied to this. Okay, and it says I was only nine when the Berlin Wall came down. But I remember very clearly how David Hasselhoff jumped out of a helicopter, found a horde of East German border guards and hand-to-hand comment for standing in front of these fucking around. Since that day, I pray to the Hoff every night. That is hilarious. What a good response to this guys.
Speaker 2:That is great. I was only 10 when that happened.
Speaker 1:But obviously David Hasselhoff didn't jump down and fight guards.
Speaker 2:This is why you don't believe me, yeah, no, I didn't think that was a factual. Okay, cool, nice, yeah. I'll remember that the Berlin Wall fell four years to the day before Wu-Tang Clan, 36 Chambers was released to the public. And again, very happy for your freedom, east Germans. We know which one's more culturally significant.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just saying what's up. Wu-tang Forever. Hey and Eva, Eva, hey. What's your favorite line? A rapper that spits a line about the Berlin Wall, do you know? I don't even know. Oh, Immortal anyway.
Speaker 1:I don't think I need to even first song ever on an Immortal album Creation and Destruction right you remember it, colt I imagine, yeah, take a piece of you home, or take you home like a piece of Berlin Wall anyway. So, nonetheless, that point being made, how much do you think a piece of you home, like you know, or take you home like a piece of Berlin Wall, anyway, so, nonetheless, that point being made, how much do you think a piece of the Berlin Wall goes for right now?
Speaker 2:Well, they're on the Euro now. Right, it's no longer Deutschmarks, yeah, but I mean you don't need. I mean, what piece Like it's, you know? Is it signed by Hasselhoff? Then it's priceless, obviously no, I would say more than $4.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, well, roughly, I don't know. I'm seeing them all over the place. I'd say one that's about baseball size. You can get it on Amazon for about $54.95. So you can buy them on Amazon. That's kind of weird how is this authenticated?
Speaker 1:I don't know spray paint on this wall. Yeah, germany has our accents. Let us know. Let us know Americans too, how we do. Let's see, yeah, I don't know, it's kind of funny, they'll have a little bit of spray paint on them. A very emotional thing, I don't know, it's kind of funny, they'll have a little bit of spray paint on them A very emotional thing. I don't think anybody knows about it anymore, though. Yeah, it's just how shit goes, I guess. And as you get older people which most of you are probably about our age, I'm guessing and like you, start realizing how shit just really does get lost in time. You know, like shit just really does get lost in time. You know, like the, it's just the way of the world. People forget about shit. That's all there is to it. Too much stuff going on yeah insert bomb anyway.
Speaker 1:nonetheless, I don't know, is there anything that you're just so inquisitive like? You just need to know right now, owen, like I mean, there's gotta be this question deep burning type sensation in your soul, of sorts. You know, I know Owen's got a soul, he's got soul All right, super bad.
Speaker 2:Um, I don't know, not at the moment.
Speaker 1:Right? Um, I think we did pretty good, bro. I don't even give a shit. That was pretty fun.
Speaker 2:I enjoy talking to you about most things, most of the time, you know just being honest, cheese graters particularly, and general stores, that's a big, big fun topic between Colton and I.
Speaker 1:We did just talk about general stores in our last episode actually. Well, I don't know when to stop. Oh, we did In general.
Speaker 2:Sorry, I'm stealing that whole, just general store thing, not stealing but Aglo New York y'all.
Speaker 1:That's what's up.
Speaker 2:Borrowing it. But just, there's a great line in Curb your Enthusiasm where Larry goes on a date with a woman and Jeff's agent set him up with her and oh, you know how was it? Oh, it was great. We had a great conversation Like oh, what did you talk about? We talked about general stores. We talked about my love for general stores. I don't know why I find that so fucking hilarious. They're in, you know, ritzy LA. There's just not a General Store to be found. Yeah, but that's Larry's sarcastic response. Yeah, it made me love General Stores even more, as I have been to a couple. Right, red.
Speaker 1:Lodge even has a General Store. I think Smoothie has a song called General Store. I'm serious on that Rusty Squeezebox album. Yeah, I'm pretty sure of it. Anyway, shout out, smoothie. Mr Biscuit, yeah, shout out, smoothie. Check him out if you haven't. Anyway, indeed, that was fun. Anyway, this might become like eventually, when we get some more stuff wrangled together, like part of our members-only episode sort of deal. So hope everybody enjoyed it and, if anything, we'll be hitting you with some episodes soon.
Speaker 2:All right, Much love everybody, Yep Peace.
