I Tell Stories
I Tell Stories Podcast covers a wide range of topics discussed by Colt Draine and Owen "The Mic" McMichael. From the scourge on humanity of violent business hippies and Scott Baio to peculiar Serbian Mother's Day traditions,the boys offer their unique perspective. Revolutionary artists,legends of folklore and bizzare following of fast food items are just a few of the subjects touched on. I Tell Stories aims to bring attention to individuals and occerrences that are too interesting to be forgotten. Two long time friends who keep each other laughing give listeners their take on the world. Everyone has a story, these are ours and those of many others.
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I Tell Stories
Food Heists: Me So Hungry
Oh boy, all right, hey, hey long time, no talk on the podcast.
Speaker 2:my friend, how are you doing?
Speaker 1:I can't complain. The sun is shining. Basically it was mostly Siberian weather here in merry old Billings, montana, since we last discussed Mr Bourdain, but it has a balmy like 45 degrees.
Speaker 2:Nice, yeah, we're creeping into spring here ourselves. I mean, hopefully, get this out quickly, everybody. You're going to have to spring your clocks forward this Sunday. Not to date everything too much, but I guess I don't really give a fuck. Nonetheless, you know, something that I was thinking of is the Blue Dog Boogie. You know Boogie's Bodega located in Billings, montana, on First Avenue North. Okay, guys, we're Owen. The McMcMichael has his own little business there where you can pick up a lot of cheese and stuff, right, but anyway, Boogie Indeed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know he's done. You know he's done. The heist, the little food, just you know a food heist here and there. Snatch something if it's left out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, his main tactic is just straight up extortion, but if that does not work then he will straight up heist it. He's a tricky one for being a 90 pound land seal.
Speaker 2:Jeez, these pit bulls guys. They're up to nefarious acts, Sorry. Well, these pit bulls guys.
Speaker 1:They're up the nefarious axe, Sorry. Well, let me though, for the record, say that he was not the one responsible for the 100,000 eggs 400,000 eggs stolen in Pennsylvania, right, Holy shit yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 1:Oh no, no, I'm sorry. 40,000 worth 100 grand. I forget, I don't have the notes, but still Boogie's not responsible for that, as we've never been to Pennsylvania.
Speaker 2:No doubt. Yeah, that was a recent heist. I wish I would have kept that up. Professionalism, Owen, we're on top of things. You know, if it was $100,000 worth of eggs when I read the article about a month ago, they're probably worth about $200,000 at this point month ago. They're probably worth, you know, about $200 at this point.
Speaker 1:I would assume they just give you the Taj Mahal for the eggs. Yeah, it sounds about right Where'd you get that? Oh, we gave them some eggs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just shipped it on over, right? Well, you know it's unfortunate we can't get them from Canada Anyway. So yeah, the Australian salmon heist was almost comparable to this egg thing, except for it was quite a bit bigger, a little bit slower moving, not like a, you know, jacking a truck or anything. It sounds interesting. I'm up here in the PNW salmon very near and dear to our hearts up here, guys. Okay, what happened was five employees at a fish processing plant orchestrated an inside job to steal massive quantities of premium salmon, Not just, like you're running the mill, canned salmon, owen Premium salmon. They misclassified the fish as waste, right? So, like they're, you know it was bad fish. So they were throwing it away and it was allowing them to remove it from the facility without raising suspicion. Okay, I'm going to hit you with some numbers here, some facts I don't even know. 250 tons of salmon is what they stole, worth approximately $1.4 million. It was taken over several months. That's a lot of fish, man. That is a lot. That is a lot of fish.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that seems like a good deal, salmon's not cheap. No, it's not. Is seems like a good deal, salmon's not cheap no it's not.
Speaker 2:Is that street prices? I know it's like when they buzz somebody for like a half ounce of weed on the news and they don't do that anymore, but they used to. They'd be like street value, $20,000. It's like who the fuck are you getting your weed from?
Speaker 1:That was like on the show Weeds, where she's like supporting a family in the suburbs selling an ounce a week, and I was like, wow, I want those victims Not that it has anything to do with any activities such as that Not anymore.
Speaker 2:Not these days, Not anymore Correct. Yeah, so you know you may be wondering how they got caught. The fraud was eventually uncovered, leading to the rest of all five employees. You know I'm sure they just sniffed around. They're like dang, this is a lot of wasted fish. Guys like what's going on? Probably check some stuff to see if machines were working correctly when they were descaling it or whatever they may have been doing. I don't know. But you know they probably went through some processes and, uh, they figured it out. Investigators did believe that the stolen fish was resold through illegal distribution networks. I'm assuming, like you know, if they're in Australia, they're probably selling the salmon to like Asia or something you know, at a cheaper price, You're selling it to American tourists.
Speaker 2:Would you like some bad salmon?
Speaker 1:Cut it in your coat. It's like the old 80s drug dealer commercials where you just open your coat and have all the drugs. It's like the old 80's drug dealer commercials where you just open your coat and have all the drugs and it's like, yeah, I got some salmon.
Speaker 2:Something smells fishy here, owen, I don't even know. I know, hey, I am a dad, thus the dad jokes my friends out there in podcast land. It is very good to be back on this glorious day where we're talking about food heists. This is great, my friend. Do you got one for me?
Speaker 1:I do Also an inside job, they believe, and I don't think that the olive oil heist culprits were ever apprehended. Let me check on that real quick, ever. Let me check on that real quick. But yeah, 18 truckloads of olive oil worth $2.5 million was stolen from an award-winning Texas company. Whoa, I don't think of Texas doesn't immediately jump to mind. I wonder if they grow olives in Texas. I mean, I guess, the climate.
Speaker 2:Right, I'm looking it up, google, I guess. The climate? Right, I'm looking it up, google, guys, google, let's see. Yeah, apparently they do what. Oh yeah, they're making olive oil there. Right, Just checking, guys, just checking Fact. Checking our own talk right now, live on this podcast that will air at a later date.
Speaker 1:Checking our own talk right now, live on this podcast that will air at a later date and that was one of the larger total values. Speaking of Canada, I imagine you did see what, as far as I can tell, is the largest food heist in terms of monetary value Between 2011 and 2012,. Contents were emptied of maple syrup barrels, they were replaced with water, and Canada's beloved maple syrup that was stolen was worth $18.7 million back then. Holy shit. So we're well into the 25-ish range, I would think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wasn't it a bunch of old ladies that did that, or something like that? The Great Maple Syrup Heist? There was something to that, owen, I just can't remember.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know what I was reading off of is like, and we won't cover all of them, just some of our favorites. Uh right, spicy chefs, and it was the article and they're just very brief mentions of each of these, which I love. Heist, that's like. You know. Price was art like gems? Like no, yeah, we stole some eggs, right ice is a great guy.
Speaker 2:I know an egg guy. I know an egg guy. He's got a big head. Yeah, so yeah, 18.7 million. Damn sorry, bro, Go ahead, I'm just this maple syrup thing's got me.
Speaker 1:No, that's like that just dwarfs any of the other heists. But this is an interesting one. 40,000 pounds of allegedly gourmet meat was stolen from a truck yard in Hamilton, ontario. The apparent value is 100 grand, so by my math that's $2.50 a pound. Where is that?
Speaker 2:gourmet. I don't know, that's insane.
Speaker 1:Okay, I have some beef with this one.
Speaker 2:Keep them coming, bro. Yeah, dad, jokes galore over here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they never, ever. Yeah, the thieves were not cautious with beef. Oh wow, because the cops still have beef with the thieves?
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm sure they do. That's amazing, jeez. You know you think about these, this, these food heists and, uh, the fact that this shit's gonna spoil. So it's quite a bit more elaborate to an extent than if you were to like steal diamonds or something like that. I mean, I know there's other complications with reselling things of that nature, but at least you could sit on it for a while. You know what I'm saying. Whereas if you like steal a bunch of like beef or salmon, especially.
Speaker 1:Or fish. Yeah, I'm going to be sitting on fish for a long time. That's what she said Literally or figuratively.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, sorry, anywho. So that's pretty crazy, though that's all I got to say. The one that I thought you may, you know, be interested in Is you are quite the foodie, my friend. In a good way, though, you spread positive knowledge and enrich the culture. No foodie.
Speaker 1:Sorry, hate that term. Food them. Food is Sorry, just sounds pretentious and rather effeminate. Foodie does it?
Speaker 2:does, does it not?
Speaker 2:I like the foodist one, to be honest, you know that's pretty clever, I like that. So, anyway, here we go. The French truffle heist in 2005. A group of sophisticated thieves equipped with night vision goggles. These guys had night vision goggles and they broke into a truffle farm at night and, uh, stole a large hall of pedigord. I said that like spanish damn it, pedigord black truffles, one of the most expensive delicacies in the world. How much was stolen, my friend? A hundred thousand dollars worth of troubles were taken in a single night. Uh, you know, it's pretty obvious. Yeah, yeah, and you know, beyond the fact, I doubt these guys were eating them all, but these truffles can sell for over $1,500 a pound as of 2005. So it's pretty lucrative, my friend. It's a heck of a target. In addition to stealing truffles, the gangs in France often steal truffle-hunting dogs as well. I guess that was another fact I learned today or the other day, whichever you decide. Yeah, I guess that was another fact.
Speaker 2:I learned today or the other day, whichever you decide. Yeah, these dogs can be worth thousands of dollars. Yeah, because you know they're going to go find the troubles that make the money. It's just like a birding dog, I'm assuming. I don't know, but apparently, uh, truffle thefts are pretty common in France and Italy, leading farmers to patrol their land with guard dogs and even firearms. Sheesh, all right, there we are. Go truffle. Protect your truffles. Guys, watch them. That's all I'm going to say.
Speaker 1:And the damn thing changed. Boy, protect your truffles, ooh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, step on my truffles, You's in trouble. I don't know.
Speaker 1:Thief in London's Borough Market passed himself off as a representative of the world-famous French cheese distributor and was able to make off with $300,000 of cheddar.
Speaker 2:What I like cheese but I like cheddar. Oh, yep, we knew, we know it. King Nicky, over there under Nicotine, and my friends Check him out N-I-C-K-A-T-I-N-A if you want to spell it correctly. Yeah, I actually read about that one. That's pretty crazy, man. Cheddar cheese is a heck of a thing. From the town of Cheddar is where it was invented, I believe I read one time, and the original cheddar cheese actually is aged in a cheddar cave. So apparently, to these people in this town, if it's not aged in this cave, it's not really cheddar cheese, but whatever, that's what I say. So, yeah, fake credentials and emails.
Speaker 2:I actually had that one, owen. That was when I looked up too. That's pretty crazy. There's, um, let's see what else we got here. What else we got here on this fine day of theft the vanilla bean heist. That sounds interesting. What do you think about that one? Yeah, so what happened, owen? A woman who was working at this vanilla bean import company stole large quantities of vanilla over time and then just resold it on the black market. She stole 130. Wouldn't it on the black market? She stole 130.
Speaker 1:Wouldn't it be the white market if it was vanilla?
Speaker 2:No, shit, huh, jeez, guys, get it right, these sources. The Spicy Chef as well. That's where I got this one. We're doubling up on the Spicy Chef. Anything that I did have personally on that last one was due to the Cheese Professor. That's a pretty good source. Yeah, anything that I did have personally on that last one was due to the cheese professor, that's a pretty good source. Oh, okay, yeah, pretty top men here, yeah. So $139,000 worth of vanilla beans, that's a lot.
Speaker 2:Vanilla beans are the second most expensive spice in the world after saffron, huh, which you told me Sometimes selling for over $7,000 per pound, you know, and that also would probably be why there's like a lot of fake vanilla. You know, I mean it's on purpose imitation, but I do feel here in the US, when I think of vanilla and I've used it for cooking and such things or whatever, I'm up to that the vanilla real vanilla extract and fake vanilla tastes different and I'm more used to the fake vanilla flavor, because I did have a bottle of vanilla from Madagascar and it was really good, but it definitely had a different flavor to it. I mean it was more like when you buy, like the vanilla bean ice cream and how it's the difference between French vanilla or whatever, your normal vanilla ice cream, and how it's the difference between French vanilla or whatever, or your normal vanilla ice cream, I suppose would be better. Supermercados here. That's the Spanish word for supermarket. Not too much different, my friends, but now you learned something else, anyway, wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, informative. Here's another one. I just have a problem with the numbers on. Maybe I'm missing something here, but caviar well known to be one of the most expensive foods in the world. A Russian businessman returned from a New Year's party and discovered that 22 tons of caviar was missing in Moscow. Holy shit, or yes, yes, it was Moscow. Sorry, but yeah, they're claiming that's worth $470,000. That works out to only like $10 a pound and I don't think you can get caviar right is there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't even understand.
Speaker 1:I mean a ton is 2000 pounds, correct? Yes, yeah, yeah, it is oh no, I'm sorry, I did the math wrong. That's my bad.
Speaker 2:Oh it's okay, I did do it wrong. Oh, owen, you're off the show, bro. You're off the show. Oh no, I'm sorry, I did the math wrong. That's my bad. Oh, it's okay, I did do it wrong. Oh, owen, owen, you're off the show, bro. You're off the show Just joking.
Speaker 1:Okay, that makes more sense. Yes, that's More like pushing 11 grand a pound. That's making a lot more sense. I fucked that one up.
Speaker 2:It's okay. It's okay, we have smart listeners, they can do math, $2.50 for beef.
Speaker 1:That's not gourmet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no shit, that is not gourmet at all. I was trying to look up if there was any food heists in Montana, you know real fast here, and I didn't quite get there. Owen, I don't think so. Apparently, people don't steal food on that level in Montana because you know there's not enough food in Montana. I don't know, but that would have been fun.
Speaker 1:Not on that level but interestingly enough hopefully soon to be friend of the show, jeremy I was telling him he's a regular friend of myself and Boogie and visits us often here and regular friend of myself and Boogie and visits us often here. And I was telling him the day Colton and I discussed even doing this and talked about you know some of these large numbers and apparently a barbecue place in Laurel just outside of Billings had two briskets stolen and Jeremy read me the article and they did. They referred to it as a heist and he just kept kind of laughing. Every time he was like, I don't know, too brisk, it's still what a horrible thing To steal someone's barbecue. But so yeah, incidentally it was not on this level, but there was a recent Food heist.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, there you go, see, now there's some Montana facts Folks here. So I Briefly looked up weirdest food heist Right In the neck of the woods. There you go, see, now there's some Montana facts folks, hey. So I briefly looked up weirdest food heist, just for fun. Okay, guys. One thing, though, that struck me on this list immediately as you were reading that was it came up with a bull sperm. I don't know how that's a food. In Ulf in Germany, you stole 60 containers of bull sperm. All right, guys, that's what you need to think about for the rest of your day, what they were doing with it. I'm not going to read anymore, that's it. Just know that in Germany, they stole 60 containers of bull sperm. Maybe it's because it's going to be eventually producing beef, I don't know. Wow, yeah, what a wacky world. Yeah, I expect stuff like that to happen in Finland, but not in Germany, guys, Just joking. Finland had to bring that beef back. Ha, I ain't got nothing against Finland, wouldn't it be reindeer?
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know, Is that what they say up there Is like instead of having beef with someone, you have reindeer with someone.
Speaker 2:Possibly, oh, I don't know, possibly, oh, my dear, oh, my dear goodness, I don't know. Nonetheless, bro, I really appreciated this episode. It was nice to get into kind of a list and get back lighthearted. Currently, I tell stories, headquarters was going through a brief transformation, setting up a new studio still in temporary location at this point in time. But other than that, things are clicking right along, guys, and we do hope to be coming a little bit more fast and furious with these episodes on our road to 100,. Okay, this will be our 96th episode and we're creeping up on 100 episodes, guys.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's kind of an accomplishment for me and Owen, you know, considering that this was our first go at it and we started it just because we wanted to. We started, I Tell Stories, to do something where maybe we could share some positivity with people. You know, make lighthearted of some of the things that go on and, you know, maybe make you guys interested in learning some stuff. It's never meant to be like we know the facts, we're 100% right all the time. We just want to share with you what we've seen just by looking at our phones, looking at our computer, reading a book and then doing a little bit of research. So we hope sometimes that you guys follow up on us and maybe get interested in something else besides your daily grind, because we all know that's easy to get caught in. So at the end of the day, we appreciate you. Podcastlandia From Germany down to. You know we do have some Mexico listeners I've seen. You know we get a lot of countries Pretty amazing. Owen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's 56 overall.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's just within those periods. So when we do look at that and shout out to Japan, we've had a lot of UK listeners. That's always nice. Canada Shout out to Canada. For sure, just everybody who supports us really appreciate you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we appreciate all of you. Much love everybody.
