I Tell Stories
I Tell Stories Podcast covers a wide range of topics discussed by Colt Draine and Owen "The Mic" McMichael. From the scourge on humanity of violent business hippies and Scott Baio to peculiar Serbian Mother's Day traditions,the boys offer their unique perspective. Revolutionary artists,legends of folklore and bizzare following of fast food items are just a few of the subjects touched on. I Tell Stories aims to bring attention to individuals and occerrences that are too interesting to be forgotten. Two long time friends who keep each other laughing give listeners their take on the world. Everyone has a story, these are ours and those of many others.
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I Tell Stories
National Parks: Show Me Your Tetons!
Ahoy hoy. Hello there. Hello Ahoy to you on this very summer day, as we are going to talk about Tetons. Right Indeed, we are the Grand Tetons, nonetheless. Oh yeah, you actually were just there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was actually the second day of summer, technically. My friend Kyle and I and the doogs went out there, although dogs can't get out in the park, so it wasn't much fun for them.
Speaker 1:But well, boogs loves to just go for the car rides. But anyway, yeah, it was fun. It was a lot of driving, it was gorgeous. We were both like, well, we're not sorry, we did it, it was beautiful, it was gorgeous. We were both like, well, we're not sorry, we did it. You know, it was beautiful. We don't need to do that anytime soon, because we just did it in a day. We just drove out from my mom's cabin, that's a couple hours away. Right, had we stayed or something. I mean, it's worth going Absolutely. Yeah, we just kind of like, yeah, tried to pack it into a day and it was, it was fine. But it was just sort of like, yeah, we'd, um, but the thing to stay, that's the other. The average, uh, you know, if you're actually in the park, it's a thousand bucks a night. Oh wow. So that's kind of if you actually got like a room at a lodge.
Speaker 2:So yeah, it's very exclusionary um, that's very discouraging for average joe.
Speaker 1:Right, I mean you can camp and stuff like that, so I don't again. All this is my funny disposition, but yeah absolutely gorgeous. You can't really even uh, you know, kyle said he's like, well, I took pictures, but it's just, it's kind of pointless unless you're actually there. Yeah, it doesn where it's like oh, you know they say like oh, I saw this. It makes you feel like really small and not even in a bad way, but it was like yeah, when you're underneath I think the Grand Teton's like 13,775 feet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, above sea level.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Almost a 14er I heard this guy kept referring them to almost 14ers. Apparently, 14,000 feet's a big deal and for the Grand Tetons to have a peak that is that close is pretty crazy, from what I know from a geological standpoint and I don't know anything about that really but basically it's one of the youngest mountain ranges in the Americas from what I understand.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, and in the whole world, apparently I'm with you. I don't know anything. I was wondering. If then it goes by Young T Shut up. That's the street name.
Speaker 2:No please, no. So the Grand Teton National Park covers 3,994994 acres boy, I did really good at that or 484 square miles, ellen, did you know that? I did not? All right, and an average of uh 3,885,000 people uh visit each year as of 2021 is where this number comes from and my uh some of my resources that I was reading up on here from a website called national park is what I got a lot of this yeah.
Speaker 2:So just a little quick fun facts, like I'll just do this because this is kind of rinky-dink crap anyway, uh, so what are the highest and lowest elevations in Grand Teton National Park? You may ask. Grand Teton's lowest point is 6,310 feet at Fish Creek, and the highest point as you just touched on is Grand Teton, 13,770 feet Pretty neat, wow yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely All kinds of wildlife there too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Of course, Bears, elk, all kinds of birds, Apparently ranging from the calliope hummingbird, that's the smallest found on the North American continent, up to the trumpeter swan, that's the largest waterfowl found. So for your bird fans like Ma, Teton's a great place to go check out some wildlife, including the birds.
Speaker 2:Maybe that would be extreme bird watching, perhaps? Yeah, we touched on on the Extreme Hobbies episode. What would extreme bird watching be in the midst of all these other extreme hobbies, like ironing and such, and we weren't sure. But I think if you were shooting for, like, the smallest of the small bird and the largest of the large, that's kind of extreme, I don't know. Just a thought, sorry about that. So, yeah, it's fauna, as you were just speaking on. What a word that is, isn't that amazing? It includes 61 mammal species elk, moose, bison, pronghorn which are some of my favorite and one of the only I think it's the only mammal that's still alive in North America from and without being, like, changed in any way from the Ice Age, about 10,000, 12,000 years ago, possibly longer, I don't know, but they've been around for a while and they're also, like, the fastest land animal, I feel, which is oh wow, yeah, and I was just sorry.
Speaker 2:Now I'm excited. I was just listening to something not too long ago and they're talking about said pronghorn species and how they're driving along a dirt road in their car going probably I'm guessing like 40 miles an hour, 50, I just can't quite remember. It was up in that range and the the pronghorn was keeping up with their car and then there was a fence and it just disappeared, and so the guy was like what the hell? Well, what happened was his pronghorns don't jump over fences like other deer. That's why you don't see him hanging on the side. If you're used to being in a rural area, it's not uncommon to sometimes see a deer who died on a fence because it got caught trying to jump it. Well, pronghorns slide under them.
Speaker 1:Damn.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. It was running as fast as a car slid under the fence, a barbed wire fence. I thought that was pretty impressive. Magic that may be happening in the Tetons, guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they can maintain speed for quite a while too. We see them out on the flats by the cabin where you can see the Grand Teton, Mount Owen and, I think, Mount Moran. Just barely see them on a clear day from the deck of the cabin. It's a rough go of it out there.
Speaker 2:Oh, I bet. Yeah, that's amazing man. It's actually one of the shorter mountain ranges as well. I didn't get the. I think it's 40 miles long Like 40 miles yeah. All right, nice, I couldn't remember. But comparative to other mountain ranges that you know, like the Rockies are like thousands or something, huh, like I don't know. But Well, it's part of the Rockies, oh, is it? Okay, see, shows how much I know about mountains, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not well aware of those, but I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it's just a, it's a thing, a range in the.
Speaker 2:Z.
Speaker 1:Rockies, z Rockies. And it's the only park, with national park, with an airport.
Speaker 2:I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but I'm sure a lot of these things that you're talking about, especially like how expensive it could be to stay there, has something to do with its distance from Jackson Hole.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's right there. That's like Ritz-y For one. Wyoming's a very tax-friendly for the super rich. It's a very nice place to park some money. Pretend that you live there and it's really just the house you visit for a few weeks a year or something, and it's worth $20 million.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that totally helps out locals, huh, like the Wyoming folks. I'm sure that just what do they call that? Trickle down? There's a bunch of money in the state it's going to, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that didn't work out so good with Reaganomics, no, but Meemaw's going to move out of our trailer. Keep on hoping for people.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, keep on listening. Yeah, keep on listening. Yeah, for sure Don't. Well, it's not like I'm rich, I'm pretty broke, I mean no.
Speaker 1:I have butter pretzels and I'm quite Pleased with myself. Yeah, no, I'm content.
Speaker 2:Those are my assets.
Speaker 1:I've tried Tipping the the fridge and some butter Grated pretzels, yeah Right, a little short To Jackson money, hey yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, yeah Right, a little shard of Jackson money. Hey, yeah, yeah, I gotcha man. The Snake River, which also flows through the Tetons, is known to actually be one of the cleanest, hmm.
Speaker 1:It kicked that pesky heroin habit, damn. That's yeah, I suppose.
Speaker 2:So, tripping up a bit, one of the things I thought was kind of fascinating that just made me your heroin joke made me think of that for some reason. But a lot of the rock formation or a lot of the rocks, the physical rocks like you know, you got like granite, sandstone, all that kind of stuff is actually. They call it nice, so it's like the Tetons are NICE. I don't know, this is what I thought. Sorry, but it's an acronym for some sort of thing, and I don't know if you were able to see any of these rocks, but apparently they look like they have like a zebra pattern but they resemble granite. But it's actually a rock called NICE. Huh, a lot of N nice Tetons, my friend. Awfully nice though.
Speaker 1:Nice Tetons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, hey, you know. Speaking of that, let's just get it out of the way, because I think anybody that's going to talk about the Tetons is going to bring up the name, right? Yes, do you have anywhere in your notes that explains how this place was named, do you?
Speaker 1:have anywhere in your notes that explains how this place was named? Not exactly, but yeah, they are named after breast cysts.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a true fact, guys.
Speaker 1:There was also. I didn't know if people were messing with me at the cabin as a kid, because I remember hearing that and you never know Adults like to. But yeah, sure enough.
Speaker 2:Yeah, god bless them. Right, and it was originally like or something like that, and twa is actually three in french, just so you're aware. So it's all right, yeah so it's like three breasts, because there's three peaks which is like the lady from total recall yeah, apparently. So the movie not out yet. Guys, that's weird, I didn't even think of that. Good job, hey, this almost sounds like a dad joke but Sorry.
Speaker 2:High five, yeah, alright, way to get it in there, owen, alright, anyway. Hey, what time zone is Grand Teton National Park located? In Mountains, ooh yeah, that sounds like a joke, doesn't it? I don't know, it's just a.
Speaker 1:It's not even a dad joke, that's like a fucking. Yeah, I don't know Great Grandpa deceased at Thanksgiving table joke.
Speaker 2:Okay, sorry. Yeah, it can be, it could be considered as such. So, yeah, the Tetons also, though itself could come from the Lakota word I don't know if I'm saying that right, I apologize Meaning village on the prairie, french-canadian trappers, who later named the mountains Grand Ketons, meaning big breasts, but originally, like I said, it was like Trois Ketons or something, and are also part of the region's history. So the and the Lakota Sioux really have like a, a big history. There in that mountain range, my friend, there's a, there's actually an animal, uh, in their folklore that's known to be out there, and I don't want to I probably won't say it all the way, right, but I'm gonna give it a good shot. Guys, it's the meh, meh, wah too.
Speaker 2:This creature okay, owen is described as a large amphibious being, not unlike the underwater panther, I, I think you know, in a weird way, uh, but it has buffalo like a buffalo like body and red hair and a single horn, as opposed to, like you know, the horns of a buffalo normally would be. So it has a buffalo like body. I'm really interested in this, um, and then it has a notched back like a saw. These are the things that it tells me. So use your imagination, people. I don't know if that's going to help anybody, but apparently it can swim very powerfully at night, causing the water to turn and glow. Encountering one during the day is believed to cause confusion, vision loss, madness and ultimately death. Yeah, so that's a thing. There is a water buffalo in the Tetons that is trying to confuse and kill you.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, and also I know that there's Some lore around the Thunderbird Residing in the Tetons For these people as well.
Speaker 1:Thunderbird gets around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's the Thunderbird, Bro, come on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it travels well. Yeah, I did. Well, it's the Thunderbird, bro, come on. It travels well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it does.
Speaker 1:I did see that it's come back, but because of fur trapping being such a big deal in the area, the beaver population was almost done. But then the mountain man era faded away and silk hats became more popular and fashionable than the beaver hats, which we'll leave that one alone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, beaver hats. Nonetheless. Yeah, they did do away with those. It was almost full extinction, from what I understand, from how they're trapping and stuff in there. One creature from the Tetons that has gotten away and it's very elusive Owen, you may be familiar with now that you've been stationed in Montana for a while. I'm not sure if the rest of the nation is, but have you ever heard of a jackalope? Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a creature who's got. You know, it's kind of like a bunch of tails. It's a Wyoming folklore type of deal. You know, it's kind of like a bunch of tales, it's a Wyoming folklore type of deal. But the jackalope is said to be a horned rabbit that races across the plains, prairies, mountainsides and riverbeds of Grand Teton National Park and other parts of Wyoming, and this creature's no joke. Apparently they sell jackalope hunting licenses in Wyoming as well.
Speaker 1:I ate jackalope once actually.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Really yeah. How did that go?
Speaker 1:Well, it's funny too, cause I told Brooke Friend of the show, dear friend, and she was like, um, owen, you know, that's a Fictional animal right. And I was like, yes, I do, brooke, it was. Uh, they, it was essentially like a Somewhat fancy game Hot dog, they mix Antelope meat with fucking jackrabbit. Oh my God. Yeah, it was not the highlight of the game platter, but anywho, to say the least.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so well. Antelope's notoriously not the best meat. Right, I know I've heard that yeah, because they really just run, run, run, you know, and that doesn't make for a good meet, and neither does Jackrabbit. From what I've heard, it's pretty stringy from some. I think Donnie Hill folks might have filled me in on that. One Friend of the show.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's full of the knowledge man, being as he's from Soldotna, alaska, you know, and then and then montana, you know. So there we are, just donnie hill folks. That's all I gotta say, guys. Uh, you know, I felt like we covered a lot of good stuff here about the great, uh, the grand tetons, the great tetons, uh, you know. But I wanted to add in something that I think we may have forgot and I I just briefly looked into it, so this isn't like a major point, guys, I'm going to do a lot of referencing to a wakeupwyomingcom article that I read. That TV show claims aliens may inhabit Wyoming's Grand Tetons. Have you heard anything about this, owen?
Speaker 1:I have not. I'm very interested too here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So the claim was that back in the 1930s, an explorer found a cave that led into one of the mountains in the teton range and while exploring it, he was greeted by some strange alien-like creatures. And guess what, owen? They gave him a tour, bro. They were friendly, I guess. Apparently. Eventually, um, there was some 2 000 feet or so below the mountain and they showed him a bunch of like technological wonders, apparently, and a disc that possessed some sort of, uh, wonderful abilities. So that's uh, but wait, but wait, there's more.
Speaker 2:Okay, um, according to, like the, the show that this was on, which is ancient aliens by the way, this has something to do with the Vikings as well and and it it goes on further to say that, uh, the host, uh the video, that uh in the show claims that Wyoming was selected for the aliens because of Bigfoot, and he's dead, fucking serious guys. So I don't know if there's any validity to this podcast, landia, um, but apparently he claims the aliens and a Bigfoot have an unholy alliance fucking serious guys. So I don't know if there's any validity to this podcast, landia, but apparently he claims the aliens and Bigfoot have an unholy alliance. Okay, yeah, I think. Wake Up Wyoming's onto something here, guys, you know Bigfoot and the unholy alliance, and this is a real thing here. Check this one out. This is a fun thing. That's right around there in the area apparently there's a green river intergalactic spaceport. That was actually, uh, it was started off by a joke, I guess by some city council member, because of the alien stuff that I'm just talking about now, guys, breaking news or something like that and uh, basically like it. It got legs over years and the faa actually put the intergalactic spaceport on their map. So it's the, the intergalactic spaceport for the people escaping jupiter, apparently is uh recognized, uh by our government.
Speaker 2:Wow, that was involved. Yeah, I know, right, did I get deep? I don't know. You know that's. That's when we do this hard-hitting stuff and I tell stories, guys. Yeah, you know, you could visit the website at fitlocksupplycom and, you know, pick up a shirt, uh, and or subscribe. You know, I think we got it pretty low. I think it's only like oh god, I haven't checked for a while, sorry, subscribers out there, but uh, I think it's like the lowest is like $3 a month or something like that. But if there's a way to send even lower than that, I definitely would, because we just, you know, just support, and we use anything we get to fund the show. Fund it for the fun. No, I don't buy weed with your money. Okay, guys, that is not what happens.
Speaker 1:I buy Faberge eggs and break them. Oh my. God, I'm unfortunate to have it.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, you have to keep your string cheese fridge stocked in order to fulfill your extreme hobby of string cheese braiding.
Speaker 1:This is true?
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you want to know more about extreme hobbies, look back a couple episodes. That's a pretty good one actually. So, nonetheless, what are the Grand Titons? I don't even know. Is it French? Is it Spanish? Like you know, there's a bunch of different. Like French, yeah, well, that's what.
Speaker 1:I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Initially coming into this, I thought that it was a Spanish-style slang word or something. Until we looked into it, I know that Montana is mountains in Spanish, right? I'm pretty sure. Anyway, I know it's based on that word. The state of Montana's name is based on the Spanish word for mountains, but oh yeah, you didn't know that. I was unaware. Must originally be from California. They're going to fucking run you out on a rail, bro. Those Montana folk. They get feisty about that stuff. They're very territorial for no reason sometimes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is my dirt, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't take this from the natives. Yeah, come on people. Anyway, everybody, love everybody.
Speaker 1:You, you know you need to watch semi pro and you still haven't have you we watched it at the shanty one one time, but we were in the state of disrepair.
Speaker 2:Whiskey was heavily involved, so I don't, I can't really say right well, there's a great part in that for everybody in the locker rooms arguing. I think woody harrelson's involved and uh uh, andre 2000 is in that movie as well. I think he's in that part too. But anyway, they're all arguing, fighting because they're losing or something, and jackie moon, played by will ferrell, comes in and he he just screams at him everybody love everybody.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's how I feel sometimes. It's like God, you guys, why can't you just kind of at least sort of like each other? I don't know Right, um bro, good episode. Hey, I'm glad you took a trip to the Tetons. I think, uh, some of your exploration probably, you know, got hindered by the fact of your timeline. You know you didn't have enough time to actually enjoy being in certain areas or something like that. I do not know how the national park situation in the US is looking this year. I feel it may be dire as far as bathrooms and such. So if you guys are planning on going to any national parks in the United States, be prepared to poop in the forest guys, and you can thank Donald Trump for that sorry much, love everybody, alright, peace.
