I Tell Stories
I Tell Stories Podcast covers a wide range of topics discussed by Colt Draine and Owen "The Mic" McMichael. From the scourge on humanity of violent business hippies and Scott Baio to peculiar Serbian Mother's Day traditions,the boys offer their unique perspective. Revolutionary artists,legends of folklore and bizzare following of fast food items are just a few of the subjects touched on. I Tell Stories aims to bring attention to individuals and occerrences that are too interesting to be forgotten. Two long time friends who keep each other laughing give listeners their take on the world. Everyone has a story, these are ours and those of many others.
Support The Show 👇🏻
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2035680/support
I Tell Stories
Lost Episode: Yo Mama The Original Hood Banger
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Yo mama jokes are supposed to be dumb. Then you look closer and realize they have a history that’s way older and weirder than anyone gives them credit for.
We start with a little seasonal chaos (is it fall or autumn and does it even matter) before diving into the comedy history of yo mama insults. We talk about a Babylonian text dated to around 3500 BC that reads like an ancient roast, then jump to Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus for a line that feels shockingly modern. From there we hit a big pop culture landmark: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, where the “hamster” insult helps prove these jokes aren’t just playground filler, they’re part of a long-running tradition of exaggeration and verbal sparring.
The conversation turns to the era most of us remember most clearly: 90s humor and early 2000s playground insults, where the format became a competitive sport. We break down why In Living Color and the Wheel of Dozens sketch mattered, how the category setup fuels escalation, and why some jokes still land while others feel worn out from repetition. We also say the quiet part out loud: we love our moms, and the best laughs come when everyone knows it’s cartoon logic, not real cruelty.
If you grew up trading one-liners or you just love tracing the roots of insult comedy, hit play, then subscribe, share the show with a friend, and leave a review. What’s the funniest yo mama joke you remember that still works today?
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2035680/support
Support the Show!!!
Autumn Banter And Wordplay
Why Yo Mama Jokes
Babylonian Roots Of The Roast
SPEAKER_00Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up on this fine autumn day? Right? Is it autumn right now? I don't know. I hate to like Yeah, man. I think it's officially autumn, fall, something like that. What is the difference between fall and autumn? I don't think there is one. What you choose as they call it. One is a name. One can be a name, and the other one is something that can happen to you. I guess you can fall. And yeah. And nonetheless. There you go. Yeah. Hey, hey, let's keep the mothers out of this, Owen. Whatever this discussion we're having is. Uh, we're talking about yo mama jokes today. Uh I didn't know if anybody would have caught on to that by the name of the episode. I'm sure they might have by now, but here on I Tell Stories, uh, we're bringing back a blast from the past. And apparently a very distant past, uh, way further than the 90s. Uh, I don't know how far back did you dig on anything, Ellen. Was there anything way back or the I think you're aware of it too.
SPEAKER_02The is about 3500 BC a Babylonian text that basically inquires it's more of a riddle than inquiring who or what may have had sexual intercourse with your mother. So that the ancient Babylon Babylonians uh started something, hey. Yeah. Probably had no idea. Would would I say yeah, peak in the 90s, early 2000s, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_02More more more than like, yeah, yeah.
Shakespeare’s Early Yo Mama Line
SPEAKER_00No, for real. That's like what we know of as yo mama jokes, but like the Babylonians. So yeah. Yeah, the Babylonians weren't playing no games neither, though. You know, there was a few of them, apparently, uh the inappropriate jokes around surrounded beer and death and mothers, you know, it's common, you know. So uh there there was a um also a Shakespeare joke was one of the first ones to kind of go big, apparently. Um the play Titus Adronicus uh featured this one. Uh uh so Demetrius, the villain of the guy. He says, Villain, what house thou done? Aaron, another guy. I don't know this play, by the way, guys. If you don't know, I I don't read Shakespeare. So Aaron, anyway, sorry, let's start over. Start over fresh, fresh. This one guy's name is Demetrius, there's a guy named Aaron, and there's a guy named Charon. I don't know. Anyway, Demetrius, villain, what house thou done? Aaron, that which thou canst not undo. Charon, thou hast undone our mother. Aaron, villain, I have done thy mother.
SPEAKER_02And now we have said gems. Your mama's so fat when she goes to the beach, the whales start singing, we are family. Oh, we are family.
SPEAKER_01Oh, nice. Great song. I don't know whales could sing, but neither did I.
Monty Python Goes Big Screen
SPEAKER_00Oh, dang. Way to follow up a Shakespeare Yo mama joke. So appropriate with a whale of a tail. We must be in Florence, Oregon, people. I don't know. Yeah, so there's another one though. Um that's a little older. That that Shakespeare one. Let me see if I can find my date. Uh I don't know. I didn't take a date from here. Uh, I got that from the Independent, by the way. And uh the yeah, so that's my source on that. Nonetheless, I also know that uh Monty Python and the Holy Grail had uh uh a Yo Mama joke that she's gonna love, my friend. I think it's actually one of your favorites, and you might have overlooked this. But uh Monty Python and the Holy Grail was the first movie to feature such a joke. In this 1975 film, a French soldier yelled, Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Classic. Classic. Yeah. Very classic. No, I was aware that was the first on the big screen. Yeah. What what a what a great film. I mean. Yeah. Yeah, I actually need to go watch that now.
Playground Era Takes Over
SPEAKER_00No, that is Yeah, no, it's yeah, no, it's fantastic. Uh, but then you get to the era where it be it really began, people. Okay, where playgrounds were overwhelmed with yo mama insults left, right. You couldn't go anywhere without healing hearing about, oh, uh, I don't know, what was that one? This is off the top of the head. Uh I saw your mama kicking a can down the street, asked her what she was doing, and she said moving.
SPEAKER_02She's been moving.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The crap of your mama's so stupid she got fired from the MM's factory for throwing away the W.
In Living Color Wheel Of Dozens
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, I like that one too. That was a classical classic playground. All right, let's go. It's kind of like penis wrinkle in the insults episode there. Uh anyway, sorry guys. In 1993, uh in Living Color, uh, an American treasure that is hard to find. You know, it's amazing. It's probably because it's so offensive. But they had a game show that was very similar to Jeopardy, and in my notes it says it was called the Dirty Dozens, and I just watched it. And uh Wheel of Dozens. Yeah, the Wheel of Dozens. The Wheel of Dozens instead of the Wheel of Fortune. Yeah. Sorry.
SPEAKER_02That was great. And then the one dude got like some classics.
SPEAKER_00You gotta set it up so they spin the wheel like Jeopardy, you know, and then it lands on your mom's.
SPEAKER_02No, like Wheel of Fortune. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's go.
SPEAKER_00Sorry, sorry, damn it, it fucked it up. Yes, so like Wheel of Fortune, okay, and then there's like, you know, it lands on your mama's so ugly instead of like a category, right? Or your mama's so skinny, all these things, right? So the first two consistents get like classics, right? Like, what was it? I don't remember. Do you remember?
SPEAKER_02Your mama's butt is so bony, and like your mama's so hairy. Yeah, yeah, then the third guy gets like, Your mama's so beautiful, and he's kind of like, wait, what? And then the next round, same thing. The first two get like, Your mama's so fat, you know. This and that, and the third guy gets your mama's so good at math. What?
SPEAKER_00Like, how do I oh my god, that's good. Yeah, you're what was Jamie Foxx? Jamie Foxx actually uh did the uh the MM uh yo mama joke.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, because then then the guy's like the the host, I think it's Nick Bakkay. Yeah, and he says something, your mama's so stupid, and he uh Jamie Fox like reaches in his coat and he's like, What what'd you say about just playing the game?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, he's like that's not how that shit works. But uh excuse me. But yeah, so that's uh uh apparently that's where it became its pop it gained its popularity, where it surged in the 90s, like I said, where it just slaughtered many foes on playgrounds and uh created many chuckles for stoners to this day, people.
Smart Jokes And Deep Cuts
SPEAKER_02And here's one for the private school playgrounds. Yo mama's so classless, she's a Marxist utopia.
Quick Merch Shoutout
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay. That checks out. That checks out. I like that's just the possibly the smartest yo mama joke I've ever heard. Yeah, it's a little eyebrow for your mama jokes, but yeah, we'll have her out for our show, I think. I don't know. But nonetheless, the oh whoa, whoa, whoa, well, while we're on that, I suppose, yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license. Yeah, that's a good thing. Or like one of my recent ones, this one I'd never heard before, and I read an in in uh in-depth research for our I Tell Stories episode here, guys. Uh, which uh by the way, if you want a t-shirt, you can visit Pitlocksupply.com, amongst other things you can find there. You can find an ITEL stories t-shirt. Why did I just sound like an airline pilot? That's fucking crazy. So, anyway, your mama's so poor the ducks throw bread at her. Oh. I like that one. Your mama's so poor the ducks throw bread at her. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02Your mama's so stupid when they said order in the court, she asked for fries and a shake.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take it. Oh no, man, that's pretty bad. I like this one. Your mama's so poor, Nigerian princes send her money.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Your mama's cooking is so nasty, the house flies got together. Excuse me, I'll do it again. Your mama's cooking is so nasty the houseflies got together to fix the hole in the window screen.
SPEAKER_00No, no. That's sad, guys. That's sad. I feel bad for your mothers, I guess, or your mamas. Not your mamas. People we love mamas, by the way. Um much respect to all women, even ones that aren't mothers. So there you are.
SPEAKER_02Uh, but your mama's the guy hit by a parked car.
SPEAKER_00I guess I could tell that would struck a cord with you. That that's like how I felt when I first read the uh the the ducks throw bread at your mama. I couldn't fucking stop laughing at that. I could imagine like the geico or like what's Avlack throwing duck bread at uh at somebody's mother. I don't know why. I couldn't tell you. Uh your your mama's so dumb, she thought KFC was UFC for chickens.
SPEAKER_02Your mama's so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers.
SPEAKER_00Damn, good follow up. That's so gross. That was solid and disgusting. Oh.
SPEAKER_02Your mom is so stupid when she took an IQ test that came back negative.
KFC Bits And 90s TV Nostalgia
SPEAKER_00Oh no. I I see the KFC thing, I didn't write it down, but I remember one that was like, Your mom is so fat when she went to KFC to order chicken through the drive-thru, they asked her what size, and she pointed the one on the roof. Yeah, what size bucket, yeah. Yeah. I was like, oh, jeez. KFC. KFC always makes me think of Cartman. I've uh I've never been to Boston Market. I don't know what that is. Is it similar to like a uh uh buffet or what is it? What is a Boston market?
SPEAKER_02No, it was not like the ones there's one in Davis or mom living. It wasn't bad. It was kind of like more like a nicer chain sort of deal.
SPEAKER_00But okay. Like a uh cheesecake factory nicer, I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Not quite that, but yeah, along those lines. I mean you can get like rotisserie chicken and you know, more um I don't know, it's been forever. But yeah, I remember of course Cartman joking that like no, he wasn't kidding, because they cut his KFC game, he was Boston Market. Yeah, classic.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, classic Carbon, yes.
SPEAKER_02Classic indeed.
Rapid Fire Joke Run
SPEAKER_00Oh man, those guys. South Park forever. I I feel. You know. That's just how it is. Uh so where are we at here? I'm gonna I'm gonna uh drop a couple on you in a row. We're just gonna go. Okay, ready? You ready for this one, Owen? Your mama's so ugly. Yeah, okay. Well, thanks for breaking up the momentum. Damn it. Alright, here we go. Let's see, okay, let's try this again. Your mama's so ugly her portraits hang themselves. Jeez, that's kind of a bad one. That's that's a little like, you know, I don't know. Anyway, so your mama is so skinny, Owen. Her nipples touch. Oh, I do.
SPEAKER_02What the hell? Your mama's so fat when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
SPEAKER_00Oh is their mother's Sally Struthers? I uh your mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids. I like that one. I imagine I imagine Mitch Hedberg reading that one. You know. Yes, that would be great. Your mama's so ugly. Her imaginary friend played with other kids. Yeah. Nonetheless. Sorry guys.
SPEAKER_02Your mama's so stupid she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. I seen that one too. That one was pretty good. Oh no. What else did I? Oh, your mama's so fat. When she why am I sound- I'm trying to sound like Buck Nasty from the Chappelle show all of a sudden. Your mama's so fat. When she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up. Yeah. Alright. Was that resembling Buck Nasty? Yeah, I don't know. Nonetheless. Let's go.
SPEAKER_02Your mama's so ugly, I told her to take out the trash and she left the house.
SPEAKER_00Ooh. Yeah, it's pretty rugged. I don't know. Yeah, mama's so fat, her car has stretch marks, apparently. That one.
SPEAKER_02Your mama's so ugly when she looks in the mirror, the reflection dogs.
Why Some Jokes Age Out
What To Watch Next Online
SPEAKER_00That's I've seen that one. I was I was almost wrote that one down. Dang. Yeah, those are all the ones I wrote down, to be honest, because I didn't know how deep we were gonna go, but it is what it is. It was uh a blast from the past on a few of these. Some of these I feel like I didn't write down because I remember them as a kid and I've heard them so many times that to me they aren't as funny anymore. And I was just thinking that as as we were doing some of those jokes, I'm like, man, some of them other ones are pretty funny. It's just I heard them so many times. Because I'm old. You know. So that's really what it comes down to, I suppose. Much loved in Living Color. Absolutely. Yeah. I don't know. What was your I don't r I remember that that sketch, but I didn't remember it. Like it wouldn't have been one I would have recalled without seeing it. Do you under you know what I mean? Like when you see it, it becomes more familiar. Like I remember Jamie Foxx's character, but I don't really under I don't remember the rest of the jokes a hundred percent. And then uh I don't know, I love that. That was funny though, man. Yeah, just uh look up what was it again? Dirty um oh wait. Damn it. What was that the show called? The Inliving Color one. It was cutting out there. Oh, sorry. Anyway, what was cutting out good? Yeah, is it good? Okay. What was the show called? The uh the Inliving Color episode. I forgot already, or the game show. Wheel of Dozens, Wheel of Dozens and Wheel of Fortune, of course. Yeah, yeah. Classic. Oh my god, dude. Yeah, so people hit YouTube, look up Wheel of Dozens. It's fucking just worth it, and then take it from there, you know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, another classic game show spoof on uh in Living Color was East Hollywood Square. Oh my god, I remember that. We're showing our age here, people, but so yeah, like cult said YouTube it, do yourself a favor.
Closing Love For Moms
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, that's a real thing. And Living Color was probably the best show ever made, I think. But it's it's up there, you know. Network, network anyway. Okay, fair enough, yeah. I mean, you may recall like you know, stuff like Homie the Clown, even people that are a little younger than us might recall that, but I don't know. It's the Wayne's. If you know like any of the Wayne's brothers stuff, that's who did Living Color. That's where it comes from, is Wayne's brothers. But nonetheless, comedic genius. You're brilliant. Yeah, Jim Jim Carrey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, everybody, even if your mama's butt so big when she backs up it beeps, tell her you love her.
SPEAKER_00Oh, much love, everybody.
SPEAKER_02Your father smelled a sulfur stone.
Podcasts we love
Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.
I Tell Stories
Colt Draine and Owen "The Mic" McMichaelThe Pirate History Podcast
Matt Albers